FARNAMALS @ BLOGSPOT

PHU FUCKING KET FUCKING ROCKS

2010-05-24T00:49:00.009+08:00

Sawadee kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ape khabar semua?! Doing good???

Hahahahaha, whaaaaattt only eh this person eh, greeting in Thai then ask question in Malay then don't know how suddenly can speak English. Sorry lah geng, I just come back from 6D5N in Phuket, Thailand lah (like as if you don't know, if you follow me on my Twitter) so now the tongue and the language machiam still got tersangkut traces of Phuket. (Padahal only know how to say 'Sawadee ka' hahaha ape je.) Takmu angrish ok, I'll rave about it this one last time here then I will shut up ok.

Now that I come back already I must announce my verdict is that Phuket fucking rocks!!! Wait, not enough, let me emphasize it again: PHUKET FUCKING ROCKS. Everything there is so cheap and so breezy and simple and relaxing and the people are all so polite and nice and friendly. Lisa recently mentioned to me that one of her friends say that of course ah they are nice and friendly, over there is tourist attraction mah, so they want to make you buy their barang barang.

Well, I say, that one still ok what, better than over here at Singapore right, they want you to buy from them and spend your money on them but service still like crap and the face masam semacam like asking to kena crap on. Chet. Anyway! Anyway! Don't know why I talking about so much crap when I should just post millions of pictures to tell about my holiday, even though, you know lah, these words and pictures can never really depict or capture the true enriching experience of travelling to another country and letting your spirit go free (hear like that like a bit scary pulak eh, kalau let your spirit go free from your body... kan mati tu!)

Joking about the millions of pictures, by the way. Over here won't have so much lah, the one which have millions of pictures inside is of course still inside my digicam. Speaking of which ah, the below pictures are mix and match from both my batch and Lisa's batch ah, so how to know which shots are from whose, obviously the unprofessional blurry ones are from me and the clear, sharp ones are from Lisa. Actually still got even more power pictures from Ahmad's camera!!!!!!! The fucking pretty until can die types! But wait for him to passing pictures is like waiting for Vesak Day to come so I cowboy and go ahead first lah hor.

12 May 2010, Wednesday, Day One

Red glitter nails!

Must give warning though, this glitter nail polish sibeh bitch to remove lor.

Oi, you stealing whose luggage tu hah.

Oh, and I must say, our passport covers sibeh cute hor?!?!?! Like asking to kena bite only. Another thing I also want to say is that I want to thank you Jetstar (dah tiru gaya Joanne Peh lah pulak) because my flight to Phuket was only 60 fucking dollars!!! Oklah, fine, if want to choose for window seat kena add another $10 but fuck lah, $60 (+$10) for flight to Phuket is still dirt cheap lor, in my honest opinion.

AND. TALKING. ABOUT. FLIGHTS.

Can you imagine or not, that we almost miss our flight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The story is that after we check in already and have our breakfast, we actually thought that we need to report to the place where they check the bags for security before go inside airplane in an hour's time. Turns out must be in forty minutes' time!!! So we were dilly dally at the duty-free shop and heng heng Saliheen actually heard some kind of announcement for our flight to Phuket and when we rushing out from the shop, we saw from the boards, it was flashing that our flight was - "Gate Closing"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! At that moment not only the gates closing, I think the walls of the airport also felt like they were closing in on me leh!

My champion boyfriend start to sprinting towards our assigned gate and zig zag through a maze of boards and people all so I also start to run after him even though my heart like anytime going to stop!!! And anyone who know me very well in real life will know that I run like a duck. Which means when I run, it's as good as not running at all lor.

But because my boyfriend is the strong and fast runner kind of fat boy, he was waaayyyyy ahead of me and just keep going because he was so scared the assigned gate will be damn fucking far from where we were at. I was already going to give up and telling myself fuck lah, just screw the holiday, let's just forget the flight which we are chop confirm missing anyway, so when Saliheen also start to slow down I thought, ok lah relax, no need to run already, can just go holiday at Sentosa already..... then he suddenly start sprinting again!!!!! I was out of breath already lor and croaked out a helpless "B!!! I CANNOT DO THIS ANYMORE!!!!!" ala injured heroine tak boleh harap stuck in a precarious situation in an action movie (The bewildered looks from the people around me were hilarious by the way, now that I remember it back) but the fucker kept sprinting without realising his girlfriend actually going to collapse at the back ah.

Turns out he was slowing down to look at the signboards around to see where we were and had started sprinting again when he realised that we were just a short distance from the assigned gate... and when we reach, we were allowed in!!! Fucking heng!!! If not because I was on the verge of my death I think I would have jump up and down in joy already lor. Of course after that the "Like this you want to join Amazing Race: Asia ah?!?!?!" jokes start to come out, but eh wahlau, this is exactly why I think we are fucking suited to join Amazing Race: Asia lor.

The reason we're suited for TV entertainment is because my whiny dramatics when comes to kena do tough challenges can kena contrast with his admirable resilience (Ok mok, don't say I always make you the butt of jokes on my blog ah, I also got give you praise over here ah)... you know Flo and Zach from The Amazing Race??? Ya, our dynamics probably going to be something like that lor... which pretty much means people will hate me for life lor hahahahaha.

Ok fine, on second thoughts..... cannot make it eh. I shall now go back to my story about my Phuket holiday.

After such a dramatic start to the holiday, I though oklah, better not have any more heart shocks but I was wrong because there was another heart shock at the Phuket airport... when I saw Lisa and Ahmad holding up a nameboard to so-called welcome me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oklah, more of Lisa grinning and holding the nameboard dengan penuh enthu while Ahmad was struggling with his DSLR to turn on his video recording function to capture the priceless moment but seriously failed hahahahaha.

Nonetheless, I hereby declare THAT IS THE BEST BIRTHDAY SURPRISE EVE-R!!!

Yakked in the cab on our way to our resort hotel, and they gave me the compulsory handwritten birthday card and present (in the form of Sarah Jessica Parker's Covet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you bbs!!!) and once we reach, we get cheap thrill from seeing our names on the welcome board hahahahaha perangai merepek mengalahkan kerepek seh.

And just when you thought my holiday cannot come with anymore heart shocks... *pauses to pasang oxygen tank*

The resort gave me a free upgrade... to its bleeding suite!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just for my birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hahahahahaha aiyah no lah, bluffing only, not because of my birthday then they so nice and sincere give me room upgrade lah, but because they cocked up the bookings and didn't have the deluxe seaview room which I booked. Which is fine by me obviously, ok thanks bye, so we checked in then went out for walk down Patong beach and the area before having lunch at where the locals (those who know) eat.

Can someone help me translate the signboard below the 'No Parking'...... The picture like a bit suspicious ah.

LOVE THAI FOOD LOVE THAI FOOD LOVE THAI FOOD.

Oi, korang looking for what drinks tu hah.

Botched dye job. Fail.

My favourite boy with his favourite shades.

Tak lepas lepas ah itu shades! (Except for one time at Karon Beach but that is for the story later.)

Night time we venture for... makan again lah, what else. If you don't remember then I must remind you...

LOVE THAI FOOD LOVE THAI FOOD LOVE THAI FOOD.

Fuckin' ace chicken noodles (which will give you lips which look like kena stung by bee, I swear)...

... and sungguh sinful banana chocolate crepes for dinner!

Zebra crossing. But don't look like a picture of zebra tengah crossing to me leh.

Back in the resort, we relax at balcony, do photoshoot in the wardrobe (damn thing is bleeding huge and opens on both sides so you walk through it to go from the living room to the bedroom if you want to), drank and snacked, planned our activities and budget, played Scrabble and talked cock.

Talk cock eh, not suck cock eh. Suck cock is people do outside our resort one, further down Bangla Road there.

Please remember that eh, you are hear*, and over hear*, we only talk cock, no suck cock one.

Of course the best part of the night came much later when I prepare an awesome bubble bath for myself!

Fucking tub comes with buttons which can turn it into a personal jacuzzi. Mm-hmm.

13 May 2010, Thursday, Day Two

Breakfast by the beach!

Wahlau, people's face like smelly goat in the morning don't know why must take photo.

Last night get bubble bath don't mean next day wake up the face will look like got gold ok.

Sighhh... I can totally get used to having breakfast by the beach for the rest of my life lor.

Having said that, actually I can just live beside the beach for the rest of my life lor since I am the love the sun, the sand and the sea kind of girl. Tapi yang penting! Must remember to put on suntan lotion first before anything hor... (Or probably like how Lisa's grandma calls it - santan lotion. Hahahahahaha, sial lah santan.)

It's true what Lisa said, ladies and gentlemen... Never seen them happier.

But happier times are right ahead because the time is ripe to..... PARASAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you must know, he was the only one who hit the waters when trying to get up in the air (member celup air laut tiga kali siol) hahahahaha and the only one among us who kena landing inside the waters hahahahahahahaha lepak ah ini badut.

Next is my turn!

Up, up and away! Fucking shiok please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Made me feel so alive and free!!! Feel like want to apply and become like the guy who go up with me (he went up without being strapped or tied to anything ok!!!) and feel alive and free at my job for the rest of my life. How come he can have such an exciting and cool job ni! I slave for three years for qualifications and what kind of job do I have???!!

Aiyah, better not say, later people come complain and say I write bad things.

Ok! Ok! Lisa's turn was next so kena get all strapped up.

You know how we laugh at Saliheen because he was the only one who kena landing in the sea?!

Well, he may have kena landing in the sea but at least he never landing like this.....

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MEMBER LANDING MUKA TERSEMBAM KAT PASIR LAH SIAL HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA LEPAK LAH SIAL.

What make it even more fucking lepak was the fact that even after she landed by smacking right onto the sand, fucker didn't move a fucking muscle like as if to say "Aku redha dengan ape yang telah terjadi....." hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha fuck, I laugh until I also rolling in the sand all. Ten seconds later, with the help of the parasailing people, her face finally emerged from the sand, shaking and beet red with laughter.

I vote this as the most fucking hilarious moment of the entire fucking holiday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!! Ok, ok, dah... (stifles a giggle) Ahmad next.

No unfortunate incidents from Ahmad here, because he is like me, expert in going up with the parasail and landing with parasail already. Haha! (I tell you already, I should just apply for this parasailing job lor. Sesungguhnye hidup akan lebih mulia dan bermakna.)

Then after that! Time to suntan (bukan santan eh nek!) and soak in the Patong beach goodness until everyone become black and hungry and we then go for dinner at a cosy little cafe beside our resort, which soon become our favourite chill-out place because got free wi-fi and sedap thai iced tea!

Tak lepas Facebook and tak lepas Twitter. Thank you Beachway Cafe for making it possible.

Wah, bahagia sungguh kau. (Fucker was laughing at some spelling and grammar errors inside the menu. And trust me, those spelling and grammar errors inside the menu were not the only lepak ones we encountered throughout the holiday.)

After makan dinner was muay thai match time!!! Such exciting times.

These boys who were fighting muay thai are really very young ok! Look like in their mid-primary school kind? I personally think it is sibeh disturbing that the boy in blue above has motherfucking six-pack abs, y'all. I mean, all of them had six-pack abs ah but his was a bit too defined for a, what, ten-year-old boy?!

Next up was this boy who looks confidence-mau-lebih here...

.... but kena knockout by his opponent less than five minutes into the round siol!!!

Member couldn't get up from the ground for what feels like ten years lor.

And this is the boy who did that to him (making him slam to the ground after kena whack with one single swoop of the elbow to the face):

FIERCE KA PA. Lagi fierce dari Tyra Banks dan lagi fierce dari mak aku siol.

But fierce like how also, cannot challenge this guy below punya fierce:

We were talking about how if he come to Singapore, he can fit in with the matreps because he got the typical matrep look and package when our in-house smart aleck (Saliheen, duh) had to comment "A'ah sak, ni confirm tinggal Marsiling siol!" HAHAHAHAHA BABI.

Abang Marsiling never win though.

Probably need to come down Marsiling, Singapore, and train with the matreps on how to rembat people.

14 May 2010, Friday, Day Three

All tired out from watching people fight in a muay thai match but were in high spirits when we go Phi Phi Island the next day! There were a bunch of beach and islands which we go to which is part of the whole visit Phi Phi Island experience lah but I no need go into details hor. Kan better if you go Phuket and learn all about the islands and spots yourself? ;)

Armed with our mineral water and flippers, we're ready to go Phi Phi Island-ing! Naik speedboat!

We had a funny and friendly guide who keeps finishing his sentences with "... ok everybodeh?!"

So pretty right the water!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And look like agar agar right!!! Om nom nom.

It was also on this pretty Maya beach that we saw a fucking hot African-American girl who [quote] "looks like she stepped out from a 50Cent music video!" [unquote] Can't remember who say one but tak salah, it was you right Ahmad! Hahaha! But really true lah what he said, not bluffing one!

After drooling over the hot people (so many of them!!!), we went snorkelling! Snorkelling! Snorkelling! Yay! Heh heh heh, pardon me, this one I very jakun because I never do before, unlike the rest of them ah. We got take pictures from our underwater cameras ah, but I haven't develop so don't have with me now to show you all. Even if have, I don't think I will show because muka confirm muka konek babi punye.

Once done with the snorkelling bit, we went back on our speedboat, saw other speedboats and sampans and ships, admired the beauty of the deep open seas, and then we go to an island for our buffet lunch.

Oh wait, I never mention that we went to the monkey island place to feed monkeys! Ni pun aku jakun.

Oklah, monkey eat already, next up, we also need to eat! Buffet lunch!

Hahahahahahahahahaha seriously, ape maksud sak ni.

Done with the Phi Phi Island-ing, we return to resort to wash up and head out for dinner at what became our favourite dinner spot also, No.6 Restaurant!

STICKY RICE WITH MANGO!!!!! VERY SEDAP OK!!! SEDAP MENJILAT PIPI!!!

Then balek resort, main Monopoly.

This is one of the most lepak Monopoly games I ever got play. Lisa keep on kena Free Parking and Saliheen keep on kena go to jail and fucker grumbled like a bitch!!! Tu lah dia, who ask you to be so penyangak.

15 May 2010, Saturday, Day Four

Next day was relaxing day and we plan to go visit the neighbouring Karon beach because people all tell us the beach is good and pretty and and rave about it. All of us went and agree that actually nothing much lah, the only difference is that Patong beach is more commercialised so more people whereas Karon beach more quiet because got less people. Personally still prefer Patong beach, at least no need to terkial kial look for toilet and I SWEAR THE KARON BEACH PUNYE WAVES ARE BLEEDING EVIL PLEASE.

Can imagine or not I kena knock out onto the shore by the waves three freaking times and in the process of me kena flung all over by the waves I lost my right contact lens lor!!!!! Became half-blind for awhile and the sial part is that Lisa also lost her favourite shades! Kena sacrifice to the evil Karon beach waves! (She was quite near the edges, I think, testing waters kind, even though I already tell her the waves are insane and will knock you over so in the end she did kena knock over by the waves, favourite shades and all.)

Even our strong and muscular hero Saliheen was flung about by the waves when he tried to take care of me and pull me out to safety when I was knocked over and his face actually hit the back of my head in the whole madness. The sial part was that he was, as usual, still wearing his favourite shades yang tak lepas lepas and the impact caused a cut on his face near his right eye which started to bleed as hell!!!

So in the end he kena stay off his shades for awhile. Kesiaaannnnn aku punya hero, sampai ade injury!

Oh, hahahahaha, don't know what happened on this day but somehow we suddenly went on a buying spree (there's this thing about beaches in Phuket where these local sellers will hawk their wares to you while you relax by the beach so you have to keep on saying "No, no, no." everytime one comes) and dalam banyak banyak benda, this Salheen the joker mati mati nak beli this seruling berputar thing! His reason behind buying it is obviously very cheeky; it is so that he can play the seruling non stop hits and annoy people to no end. Nampak sah. You think I don't know ah?!?!?! Gasak kau lah budak.

(By the way, we call it the seruling bapak kau hahahaha because the seller was hoping we buy from him mah, so he give us a bit of sob story about how his father is the one who painstakingly make the seruling so he can go and sell them off for their living. After Saliheen buy from him already, this Saliheen fucker keep on playing the seruling and pretend he is a seruling seller trying to sell his seruling to us - he is out to annoy us mah - and someway somehow someone actually asked eh seruling bapak kau pe. Hahaha!)

In the meantime, Lisa and I buy matching friendship bands because we are very 1990s like that heh heh.

SUCH EVIL.

After doing battle with the evil Karon beach waves, we become very the hungry so after buying my contact lens from the shop opposite (monthly lens for 180 baht = estimated SGD9!!! murah pe!), we choose to eat at Hungry Corner because their signboard say they got discounted lunch sets and which decent Singaporean will miss out on discounts, right!

In the end we realise that there is actually terms and conditions involved i.e. discounted lunch sets kicks in only after 5.00 p.m. Kanina! Cheat our feeling. Lucky their cheeseburger taste quite power.

My impian to go on a tuk tuk tercapai when we take a tuk tuk back to our resort!!! Fine lah, it's not really a tuk tuk per se, since it is actually a van version of the tuk tuk and not the actual tuk tuk type, but at least got try ok! Next time I go Bangkok again, I promise myself already that I will take the tuk tuk. Betul! Promise! Pinky swear!

Oh! You know or not which impian of mine never tercapai within that few days that we were in Phuket?! To ride an elephant and go elephant-trekking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They all damn losers lor, don't want to go with meeeee and go trekking with the elephies :,( (Step cute.)Why nobody want to go elephant-trekking one?!?!?! Not fun meh?! Fun what sit on elephant then go jalan jalan with him.

Then back to No.6 Restaurant again for dinner!

They don't have nice thai iced tea but the dishes there are marvelous! The tom yam is damn shiok siol!!! So remember ah friendz, it is No.6 Restaurant, and not any other restaurant ah, and especially not this Sala Bua restaurant ah.

Hahahahahahahaha kimak, sala bua.

Walked down the streets to take it the sights and sounds and Saturday is really the best day to especially walk down Bangla Road because the atmosphere is bleeding amazing and got a lot of happening things to see and do. Shopped for souvenirs, watched the lady boys strut their stuff, b-boys breakdancing on the streets, swatted off people who were pulling us to go watch the ping pong show lah, bird show lah, goldfish show lah, what lah (in case you live inside cave and don't know what these shows are all about, I suggest you go bukak Google.)..... basically being very the typical tourist lah.

And this is the typical lady boy being, er, the typical lady boy?

I have to admit that I love looking at lady boys lor! Some can be veh pretty, prettier than real women, even. The blondie one was going a bit too much though, a second after I snapped the picture, his/her dress went way below his/her boobs and that's it ah, everything tumpah, signed sealed and exposed!!!

That's when our boatman Ahmad decide he had enough and walked away in acute trauma hahahahahahahahaha, the guys kept saying "Sial lah! Punat jantan! Punat jantan! Sial!" hahahahaha, please lah guys, adventurous ah sikit please! I for one actually found the one in black quite lawa, nyah! It was only when the joker in pink come up the platform that I also walked away. Like fuck, what fuck is that?!?!?! Supposed to be MILF the lady boy version or what?! Cannot make it leh, where got want to kena fucked like that?! Wahlau, the face.

So, since we wanted to get away from all the maksiat, we decided to go for a (clean and decent) Thai massage! (I actually wanted to mix around with the nyahs lor and go watch more kecoh shows but they don't want so Saliheen already promised that the next time we go Phuket again we will definitely go inside to watch the shows... AND YES, ALSO GO ELEPHANT TREKKING.)

Anyway, the Thai massage was damn fucking awesome to the bone siol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It'd be damn stupid to go Thailand and not have their Thai massage because it is really very shiok and relaxing and omg lah sak!!! Left the place really rejuvenated, macam want to put the masseuse inside my pocket and bring her home to Singapore with me so she can give me Thai massage everyday after I come home from work. Yes, it is that shiok, until I want to do human trafficking all.

16 May 2010, Sunday, Day Five

Body kena massage shiok shiok the night before already, so next day is to go explore James Bond Island! On this day we got very funny and friendly guide also who cannot stop talking about crocodiles eating us alive hahaha ape je. We went on this big ship thing and also on the thing they call long boat because it is very long (?!) and also the sampan. Quite cool experience, considering I only know how it feels like to be in a bus, a train, a motorcycle, a car and an aeroplane only so far.

As you can also see, we got go canoeing at the mangroves and caves place there which is also damn happening thing to do! There is even a fucking shop in the middle of the mangrove place selling drinks and snacks lor. Tapi the lepak moment of the day was when our canoe guide actually told us to look out for the "walking fish". We thinking, what the hell is walking fish and then suddenly he point us to a mud fucking skipper!!! Hahahahahaha. Ade ke patut dia panggil mudskipper a walking fish! Ish, tak patut, tak patut.

Afterwards, we go visit some Muslim fishing village where all the shops and houses and the school are all on stilts kind and they all live in the middle of the sea. Cannot imagine myself staying in such a place lor, quite scary right live in the middle of the open sea?! Imagine ah if want to commit suicide how seh, don't have tall buildings to jump out from, at most you jump out window and commit suicide by drowing hor.

Buffet lunch was on the ship itself and after relaxing at this other beach that they bring us to (which isn't really that nice, harapkan got nice coconut aje.) we went back to the resort to wash up and watch the beautiful sunset at Patong beach!

Oklah, actually only the kencang photography enthusiasts Ahmad and Lisa who went to see the sunset while Saliheen and I stay in to watch the comedy bodoh 'Accepted' haha, takde maknanye tengok comedy bodoh macam gitu. (We get to watch quite a few shows while on holiday there, one that I remember is 'How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days', 'Little Nicky' (Saliheen especially enjoyed this one, unsurprisingly), this pretty good indie flick with Kristen Stewart in it, and there's this pretty good French mystery-suspense thriller show, both of which I'm still trying to find out what the titles are lor)

Beachway Cafe again for dinner on our last night at Phuket!

If not because it is our last night in Phuket, I think I ask for a membership discount card already agaknye.

Then after dinner was a bit more of jalan jalan becase feeling feeling emo lah kan, going to leave Phuket already all, and we decided it's time for some french manicure and pedicure for the BFFs!

BFFs Lisa and I lah, not Saliheen and Ahmad.

Favour eh, itu muka aku kasi warning last kopek punye eh.

Must be the after effects of the face slam into the sand while trying to land after parasailing, right?!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

17 May 2010, Monday, Day Six

This day is of course the most sial day of all because it's the last day that we stay in Phuket :(((

Thought that on our last day all of us will be stoned and nostalgic and the day won't really be eventful or give heart shocks or what but turns out that this is one kind of holiday that confirm will have heart shock one hahahahaha. And no lah, don't worry lah, it's not about us going to miss the flight back to Singapore or what (although I wouldn't mind being stranded in Phuket for another month or so lah) but it is more of Ahmad by accident leave his wallet inside the cab that sent us to the airport!!!

Siak ah, lepas satu episode, lagi satu pulak. But Ahmad seemed sibeh calm about it and when Lisa (the dramatic) and Saliheen (the lebih dramatic) say that if it happen to them, they wouldn't be so calm like him, itu boatman (we called him boatman throughout the holiday, you got see his boatman hat or not?!) actually said that outside only he look calm, but inside his heart is actually like Karon beach waves ah hahahahahaha. Very funny right this Ahmad friend of mine! (By the way, single ladies, just for your information... he's up for grabs ah. (*selit) Ahmad! Aku tolong lelong ni!)

Anyway, it was fucking heng for him that we booked the cab from the resort itself, because we manage to make frantic calls to trace back. If we had flag down any Tom, Dick or Harry cab from the streets then how?! I/C inside, burn ah. ATM cards inside, burn ah. 900 Thai baht inside, burn ah. SGD2 inside, burn ah.

Don't you just hate it when shiok holidays like this end?! It's like you can be so happy and carefree on holidays (ok maybe not for Lisa who was on fucking call with the boss on most of the days and had to make work-related calls and check work-related emails) and then suddenly wham bam slam you're back in the shitty mundane life living inside a country where everything is done within the box. No, let me rephrase that properly ah, this country is no damn box, it's actually a fucking pressure cooker which is still inside box or something.

OK, TAKMU BITTER, PLEASE.

All these bitterness aside, all I can say for now is (of course) I love Phuket!!!!!

I'll definitely be back, my dear Phuket, and next time, I'M GOING ELEPHANT TREKKING LOR. (*BITTER)

MY BOYFRIEND ALSO SAY THE DARNEST THINGS

2010-03-08T21:49:00.008+08:00

My boyfriend ah, sometimes will say the darnest things.

Boyfriend: Sometimes ah, you look like Chinese ah. Sometimes look like Indon.

Me: Where got?! I don't think so leh.

Boyfriend: Got, got. Your face very one kind, one. Sometimes also look like the Crazy Frog.

Me: WHAT LOOK LIKE CRAZZZ...

Boyfriend: Eh I not saying it looks ugly leh!

Kanina that one not ugly meh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The kuku bird also so small one!!!

Chibai. Want to say I look like ugly thing also, at least choose something with bigger kuku bird leh.

But small kuku bird still never mind...................

Got one time we talking about religion and afterlife.

Me: Ya lah, you never learn ah, they say when kiamat (Doomsday) come, the whole world will kena folded. Will turn turn and flip flip.

Boyfriend: Oh like Rubik's cube ah?

RUBIK'S CUBE KEPALA HOTAK KAU SETAN. SIAP WITH THE HAND ACTION SOMEMORE!

IF WE EVER MEET AGAIN

2010-03-03T08:45:00.003+08:00

I’ll never be the same (if we ever meet again).

MY DAY AT THE CATHAY SHOPPING MALL

2010-02-13T14:17:00.009+08:00

You know how Lisa and I always complain that we got no life one?

Go to work, complain about work, finish work, complain about work, then go home and sleep. No life hor! Then one day I saw Nuffnang ask to write about this place called The Cathay, which is to plan my day there, and I become curious and chio Lisa to go there one day after work, and I was telling her that we must try to have a life and go take a look... and since we are always paktor with each other anyway, we did.

But first thing first I check the website to see got what: The Cathay

First time see the website, I happy already! Favourite colour mah :p

Inside the website also got full listing of all the shops inside The Cathay so can checking ah.

The Cathay entrance!

And before you enter, at the entrance there got some sort of directory boxes to show what shops are inside The Cathay and at which level. This thing got remind you of something or not?! It reminds me of Wheel of Fortune leh! You know the board where the alphabets will come out after Vanna White press on the box??? Similar right!!!

Before enter also must find out about history.

Wahhh, national monument leh!

Sound damn cheem and important hor.

In case we get lost inside The Cathay (me and my getting lost, you know lah hah), Lisa and I decide to check out the Directory listing inside at the first floor near the Customer Service Centre.

But actually we no need to worry because all around The Cathay got mini signboards to indicate which shops is at which levels! I think it is a good idea lor. Very easy to navigate inside the mall because got all these helpful signs, one.

Ok, now must tell you how Lisa and I venture around The Cathay!

First thing first when we enter only, we see something that is confirm chop familiar to all people inside this country. And especially familiar to all the abang body body who like the outdoors, and always play in the sun kind. This outlet inside The Cathay is more to selling flipflops, though! (aiyah you see the name you also know already right heh heh)

NUMFlipFlops.Com #01-01

Wah, I love going into this kind of flipflops shop. The smell of rubber very overpowering. Very nice.

(Ya, ya, I like the smell of rubber. Different people like different smells what! Somemore once in awhile only then I will enter this kind of flipflops shops, what. Don't judge me leh. At least I don't buy tin of glue from mamak shop and sniff at staircase right, wahlau.)

Oh! And next best thing besides smell of rubber??? (No lah, not glue lah! Don't anyhow ah.)

IT IS THE DIVINE SMELL OF FRESHLY BREWED COFFEE.

So from the savouring of the smell of rubber, we go and savour the smell of coffee which come out from one of the very established coffee places in this country and all around the world.

Starbucks Coffee #01-05A

Even uncle want to call his kakis come and drink kopi here.

Went outside awhile to see how the Starbucks look like from outside, and the place is damn great for relaxing lor. The space outside even better, got a lot of air and can sit on sofa somemore! Only sad thing for Lisa and I is that got no smoking table ah.

But it's ok lah. Fresher air for all lah right. All you non-smokers must be happy ah.

Before we walk back inside to continue our adventure, we spot Billy Bombers from the outside also!

Wahseh, this place makes damn awesome banana milkshakes ok!!! Love their banana milkshake.

So fresh that you feel like you are actually drinking a whole damn banana, one.

Ok, ya, anyway, when we go back inside to see what else have inside this The Cathay.

I see something that says "What he wants"..... Oh yes please, tell me what he wants leh.

What He Wants #01-06

Eh awesome or what! You know how it is always very difficult to find presents for guys, one???

This place is where you can find all the hair and facial products, fragrances and all grooming essentials for men, and men only. You know how guys nowadays can be quite vain right?! Must groom until become more pretty than the girlfriend, one. Like, for my boyfriend ah, he wash face until use Clinique facial, toner and moisturiser all!!! He always tell me got many steps to cleanse the face one! I hear him say that, I also scared. Cleaning face only, make it sound like repairing lift breakdown like that, must follow so many steps one ah.

Wahlau sian, I only use a bar of soap to wash my face leh (that's why the face a bit jialat like that).

But oklah. Now I know where to get all the grooming products that my boyfriend need already!

Walking walking to the next shop and Lisa and I see this pretty shop, the walls got hole hole, one.

I very like the concept!

+20 Bulbs #01-08

At first I saw the name, I was, like, wah inside The Cathay also got sell light bulbs ah, but when inspect closer, it is actually a retail shop selling very unique but wearable clothes which import from all around the world.

Sorry ah uncle, actually not selling lightbulbs here ah. Paiseh.

After rounding the first level already, we decide to go upstairs to the second level to see got what.

And first thing that we see is another familiar shop which all sport fans will of course will like.

Adidas #02-06/07

As you can see from the shop unit numbers, the Adidas shop take up space meant for two shop units, so this Adidas shop here is quite big! I think if you want to play tennis or badminton inside also can fit.

But Lisa and I were there not to play tennis or badminton so we moving along to...

Strip Co-Ed #02-10

Eh don'y anyhow play ok, this Strip Co-ed is Ministry of Waxing ok.

Like how, for education, you look for Ministry of Education, then for community development, you look for Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports, and then for management of home affairs, you look for Ministry of Home Affairs.. and then for a damn good waxing, who do you look for???

Yes! Ministry of Waxing, of course lah! And who is the Ministry of Waxing? Yes, Strip Co-ed lah!

And where can you find a Strip Co-ed outlet??? Yes, correct, can find one at The Cathay lah!

Wah, now I feel like school teacher having a class session already.

Ok, now teacher want to sit down, relax and enjoy a cup of ice-cream. So where teacher go to???

Ben & Jerrys #02-12

Can sit down, chill and relax, and if got band playing, can listen to people singing and playing instruments... all of these while enjoying a good cup of good Ben & Jerry's icecream. Sounds like it can make a good old weekend date to me lor.

After eat icecream, the throat cold already, the body system cold already, next is to go somewhere to warm up our adventure in The Cathay again and we found what we need to warm up in...

Totally Hot Stuff #02-13

In case you don't know, Lisa and I are suckers for this kind of shop :D

Already drooling when looking from the outside.

Inside drooling even more!!!

I like how the totally hot stuff are positioned in sort of cluttered but still organised way. Aiyah, don't know how to say it without being contradicting leh. But anyway, I like it when things are in an organised mess, you know? It's because I am an organised mess person, mah. The only thing that does not make it seem like I am an organised mess kind of person is my bedroom ah.

My bedroom only got mess, one, don't have organised.

BUT. Back to the totally hot stuff which we were looking through.

Looking looking around and gasping at everything and what is this I see...

Vouchers for naughty lovers??? (Wah, all this naughty naughty thing I very on, one)

These vouchers are such perfect gifts!!!

I remember telling my boyfriend once that maybe must come up with vouchers for him because he very girl right, always want to hug and cuddle, whereas I very stone one, don't like to be too close all the time, so I tell him must give him vouchers so can limit the number of times he can ask me for hug or cuddle or well... you know, things like that ah. And now this!!! Didn't realise what I tell him is actually something which someone got create already.

Maybe must create one voucher set for bosses ah. Then must have a voucher that says something like "Your Employee, Farhana, would like to redeem her thirteen months' bonus this year!" Hahaha. I think if my boss read this, he jump and hitting the roof already.

Pretty journals for sale!

For days when you don't want to tell your life stories to the whole wide world :)

Also got cool laptop covers!

So cool until when Lisa take picture also, her hand shaking and make the picture blur.

Inside the shop also got its own little vintage corner! Totally hot, yes.

I think if I bring my grandmother here, she will ya ya and say "Aiyah this one from my time have already!"

Looking looking around somemore... and even have Coca-Cola bottles for sale leh!

Two bottles for $10!

A bit ex ah. If like that, confirm when I really bring my grandmother come here, she will again ya ya and say "Haiyoh, during my time Coca-Cola is two for 5 cents leh!"

Oklah, I better don't make my grandmother come here ah, a bit dangerous ah when she start nagging.

After that we go over upstairs to a retail shop owned by a young local designer!

To-A-Tee #03-12

We start talking to the auntie at this shop, who say that she is the mother and it is her son who own the shop. She even give us pamphlets on her son's works and explained his achievements!

You rock ah Auntie Marilyn.

So full of colours! I like very much.

Can rummage and you will find something you like, one.

If you don't like teeshirts, then can buy badges.

Lisa liked a teeshirt enough to buy it for her boyfriend!

(And yes that is me reflected inside the mirror, so damn unglam lor)

So cute hor the wall!

After say our thank yous and goodbyes to Auntie Marilyn, we walking walking until we see...

Forest + Trees #03-02

Wah, inside shopping mall also can have forest ah. The Cathay so versatile one ah.

But never go inside that shop lah, because I scared get lost inside the forest.

(I am a loser who always wrong directions and get lost everywhere I go, remember)

Instead, the next shop attract our attention because at the door there got say hi hi.

And which shop is this that is so friendly until know how to say hi hi???

Woodwould #03-03

Cool ah the name. Wood would. I think the wood must be they chop down from the forest next door.

Inside the shop got LOVE!!! :D I love this shop already!

So many gorgeous things, I don't know where to start.

Here also got journals! Somemore got very shy animals in front of the covers.

Awesome stuff for people who planning bachelorette parties or weddings.

Quaint little robots! So cute, robots also can have boobs.

AH!!! SO MANY PRETTY THINGS TO BUY!!!

Can make perfect gifts for your little sisters and your best friend hor (*hint hint Lisa*)!

Knick knacks in a weighing scale so damn old school that I better not let my grandmother see this, or she will start to ya ya again about how all these kind of things come from her era, one.

Old school storybooks!!!

If this was a library, I would have take down and read the books in my own little corner already.

Damn cute paperclips and pens!

Fell in love with their pretty calendar-organisers<3

Also got abacus seh!

Cannot imagine ah how the people in the old days calculate for their Maths exams paper?!

How to calculate cos sin tan all eh?!?!?!

Tons of quirky greeting cards, all saying unique and cute things.

And of course, after you buy all the pretty things, of course you will want to have a pretty box to put all the pretty things inside right?! Right right right?! Everything also you can get from this store, if you want.

Surprisingly after walking around and covering so much ground, Lisa and I never feel hungry so we cancel plan to have dinner, but I still went to see the Astons restaurant that Lisa is always raving about. Apparently it is good and value-for-money, and I think I will believe her because when we went to see the restaurant, the queue was very long, one!

Ok next time I want to try Astons for the first time, I will confirm go back to The Cathay!

Astons Specialities #04-03

Since we were not hungry but already finish our adventure all around The Cathay, Lisa and I decide that it is the end of our date... But we confirm will go back to The Cathay another day to buy more teeshirts, drool over more journals and notecards, fun vouchers, as well as have icecream and milkshakes!

And if Lisa cannot make it next time, then bo pian ah, I'll bring my grandmother along ah :O

Bye everyone, until the next time you see us gallivanting around in The Cathay...

And ooh! The Cathay also ask to watch out for their exciting new shop leh!

Join The Cathay Facebook page (www.facebook.com/thecathay) to get updated with latest promos, events, contests & giveaways!

CORSETS ARE EVIL. (BUT CONGRATS ANYWAY BOSS!)

2010-02-07T12:41:00.008+08:00

CHAK!!!

Long time never come back to this blog so must give what I owe for long time already (dah machiam O$P$ like that hor), which is entry on my Boss punya wedding last month which was inside Shangri-La Hotel, Singapore! Few days before we all very excited already but when we ask Boss whether he excited or not, he somemore can say NO LEH NOT EXCITED LEH. (-_____-) Anti-climax sak dekni.

Should have tell him if he not excited than he no need to get married then the wedding at Shangri-La Hotel can passing FOC to me and my boyfriend hor. Save sikit budget.

BUNGA!

This one is me with my boyfriend whose perangai is also very bunga.

Smoke first before we go in.

Then after smoke, first thing first when enter the hotel, must check out toilet!!!!!

Eh but how come we go Malay weddings at void deck never check out the toilets first ah. Hahahahaha.

We walk and walk and then we got see the signboard.

The solemnisation!

Boss got give a fucking sweet personal poem which he make for his wife in front of the Justice of Peace and all the guests ah, wahlau eh, next time I get married I also want to say sweet personal poem in front of the tok kadi can or not?! Come, this one impromptu, I try and think of what to say for my poem.....

Cepatlah langsungkan, wahai tok kadi

Part nak tunggu tunggu ni buat kita tension

Actually kita dah tak sabar to be laki and bini

So that kita boleh mantat without protection!!!

Hahahahahahaha. Kalau tak mak aku, mak bakal laki aku yang pengsan from embarassment dulu agaknya.

This is polaroid which we take while we waiting to go inside ballroom for the dinner.

Mabel finally turned up after ancient years. Cannot blame lah, she also the age very ancient one mah.

Couples for the night in the ballroom heh heh heh

Anyway must also remember to mention that Lisa and I love love love our dresses which we buy specially to wear to the wedding!!! Actually initially we order from online but that didn't turn out so good so the day before the wedding we kena rushing all over Bugis just to look so it is our luck that we manage to grab such good buys! :D Veh fucking cheap somemore ok! And the material and design is simple one but fucking pleasant to the eye. For $10 only leh!

The only fucked up thing for me was that I sibeh confident that the corset that I wear when I was seventeen is something which I still can wear so I mati-mati squeeze myself in... and by the time I reach Shangri-La Hotel ah... THAT'S IT. All my babats give up and everything tertumpah and I look like I have, I don't know, three stomachs?????????? Somemore it become painful because it was too tight to handle and the corset fucking broke my back. Tiada maaf bagimu sak!!!

I think my boobs, my stomach and my back died within one hour of each other lor.

From this cheebye episode, I don't know which life lesson to learn for myself:

Life Lesson #1 - Do not confident can wear something that you can wear almost six years ago.

Life Lesson #2 - If you cannot fit into something which used to fit, lose many motherfucking weight!!!

Life Lesson #3 - Just don't wear corset lah.

Siiiggggghhhhhhhhh. Such important life lessons.

FOOD FOOD GLORIOUS FOOD.

(Ok, I obviously haven't learn life lesson # 2 yet sak.)

The food was actually not bad leh! You know how sometimes got people complain aiyaaahhh, eat so high class at hotel also, the taste like shit, somemore the serving sibeh adik adik... but this one the food at the wedding can make it one ah. Especially love the abalones whereas my boyfriend cannot get enough of the Mongolian chicken dish lor. He take so many servings, one, lor!!! In fact I think he was the one who finish the whole main plate.

Boyfriend fucking enjoying his Mongolian Chicken!!!

Wah this fucker look so joyous eating his share(s) of Mongolian Chicken!!!

When he come meet me also not this joyous lor. Sial. Kau pergi kahwin dengan chicks Mongolian sana.

After rounds of food and drinks, taking pictures and chattering, and also the hilarious wedding video footage and picture album slideshow which they got show during the whole thing, we manage to get out and make it back home and I quickly take out the death corset!!! Any second less and my whole organ system inside going to collapse already lor.

Ok, one last picture for the end of this entry!

My future Bridesmaid / Wedding Co-ordinator by default, my future Husband, me and the nyonya behind.

(I mean, he is my future husband if he never go and marry chicks Mongolian ah.)

Ok lah, congrats to Boss and his wife for the joyous occasion and thanks for having us as part of your joy and happiness :D May you have more success, more wealth and better health, and more happiness and have a baby or two so we can have little bosses running around the office soon hor?!

MAU PERGI PANGKENG PE GIRL?!

2010-01-23T00:21:00.004+08:00

I want everybody to stop what they're doing.

Now if you know you're with somebody

you're gonna take the hotel room tonight, make some noise...

Ya, ya, I know I got say before that next time I update, will talk about my Boss punya wedding one, then what is this right, put up some lyrics from Pakcik Pitbull lah what lah?! Mai kancheong, people, mai kancheong.

This one actually I must blog chop chop because want to sleep early and go office early tomorrow to finish my work :S Fucking no life and perangai orang gila hor?! (Orang gila je kerja weekend siol) This is something which Lisa and I always complain about lor, about us not having life because we too damn old and obiang already, want to go party party also will think twice, thrice, five times infinity kind. Because very tiring leh, later every part of the body also pain!!! The back like want to break lah, the hand like want to drop off lah, the gigi palsu like want to tercabut lah what lah.

But got one Friday night ah, after work we try to make our dear old lives got add more spice... so we decide to go roaming at lorongs in Geylang!!! Don't know why end up choose to go Geylang also, besides maybe the pepek a bit miang want to experience something different.

Actually, I think it was because we want to test market ah, want to see whether working as pelacur jual pantat can earn more money than working as paralegal ah. Macam consider career switch gitu ah.

I mean, either way, still the same, what. Clients still want to screw our pantat.

Oklah, don't joke anymore lah, actually we go because we want to talk about love and life but so fucking exhausted from work that we cannot even tahan and only want to do so while lying down and resting our tired old bodies... so what better way than to book hotel room, correct or not! So I suggest we go Geylang to find hotel room to book and lepak in, and she also say OK SET GO. So shiok hor!

Where to find best friend who is sibeh supporting and sibeh up for this kind of thing, one.

Aku ajak pergi pangkeng abeh on gila babi. PELACUR SAK.

What is even more pelacur is when I was showing Lisa the selok belok of Geylang lorongs and she become impressed... damn fucker say I like big sister showing her around the place (-____-) Bo pian ah, I exposed to it from young mah. I from young love going to the seedy parts and red light district of Geylang!!! Very fun to explore heh heh heh will always got a lot of real live action, one.

But of course this is first time I go pangkeng with my best friend ah.

AND DEFINITELY NOT MY LAST HOR, LISA, HOR?! *makes my best pelacur face*

Grabbed our instant dinner from 7-Eleven.

Also want to grab condoms for our maksiat time but in the end no need ah, don't know want to sarung on who also.

Sayaaannnggggg my BFF!

No sek pictures though. Haram.

This one also, we last minute then remember to take pictures!!! Too engrossed in our great love and life conversation (not our maksiat time) until never remember to take more mad pictures. Nehmind, next time, next time! Next time will have sek pictures, I promise you, I won't disappoint. Gambar tetek terlondeh ala Friendster & Tagged pelacur type of pictures all I will give you, one! But bare nudity, cannot ah. My blog rated Parental Guidance (PG) leh.

Our room. Totally never realise that I do same (ish) kind of head tilt pose as Lisa!!!

This is when our 2-hour pangkeng time finish already.

Still got cheek somemore want to extend but cannot ah, must go home and kembali ke jalan yang benar.

The sayang part was that we never get to check out any working girls... later on find out from someone that the night before that, the area kena raid so that's why the place machiam not activated. Wahlau, suay lor.

Baru nak join members jual pantat. How to do career switch like this.

SPECIALLY FOR SYAF: SORRY BUT THIS IS TOO FUNNY

2010-01-19T23:17:00.003+08:00

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

Dear Syaf (who has left us for UK)... A special sexy video for special sexy someone like you hor! :D

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO HANDLE MY EGGS?

2010-01-17T23:51:00.011+08:00

One chop chop entry before I wrap up the delicious weekend.

The weekend have been about food food and some more food!

This one was when Saliheen and I go paktor at town and we feeling feeling hungry but because we were due for a sibeh huge dinner few hours after that, we decide to just get something light to fill our stomachs for the meantime lor.

And because he is very takde kerja lain, he challenge me and say that he can break eggs better than me!!! So at first he break the eggs for me and then it was my turn to break the eggs for him. Wahlau, make until my armpit all sweat leh. And if you know both of us very well enough, you will know how the results is lor.

Needless to say, the 'perfect' one on top inside the picture is he do, one, whereas the cannot make it one below inside the picture is I do, one. (-___-)

Cibai, want to break eggs also cannot make it, how to ask for $15,000.00 dowry like that?!?!?!

Even my future husband is more housewife material then me!!!!!!!! Until know how to handle eggs, all.

Can totally feel Saliheen smirking as he reading this. Dia kan suka feeling like a complete woman.

Next up was dinner at Popeye's (Changi Airport) with Lisa, Kartika, Adha, Saliheen and Azrul.

No eggs to break here so no need to do any challenge. No chance for Saliheen to feel like a complete woman.

Next up was dinner of Roti John and Spring Chicken and Fries from Simpang Bedok's 89.7!

I also got to know that apparently their maha awesome beef lasagne no more selling lor!!! Think maybe not many people buy or what... but wahlau eh, if you never put the item inside your menu, of course ah won't have people order hor!!! Really think it is damn wasted sak. Lucky still got their spring chicken, which is pretty good to savour as well.

But you know or not what I like to savour the most????????????????????

YUMMY YUMMY YUM.

Nothing beats a housewife material man who knows how to... well, y'know, handle 'em eggs hor?!

ALWAYS KENA SEE SAME FACE IN LOCAL TV SHOW

2010-01-15T01:02:00.009+08:00

Boyfriend: I don't like Adrian Pang. They keep on using him in all the shows.
Me: Ah? I think he's ok leh.
Boyfriend: He's in The Pupil lah, Polo Boys lah...
Me: Oh... Ya. Actually he in Polo Boys a bit off ah.
Boyfriend: EH but at least they never use Gurmit Singh!

Hahahahahahahahahahaha RUDE.

SELAMAT DATANG KE WEDDING SAYA. JEMPUTLAH MAKAN BUBUR YE!

2010-01-11T23:18:00.036+08:00

I got go to three weddings already and it's only the first week of 2010 leh.

Damn siao hor?! So many people marry here marry there! How come I not going to marry?????

Oh ya, forgot. Paktor with student hor. Where got money to marry.

Nak tempah nasi minyak sepinggan belum tentu lepas.

But it's ok! It' alright! Not in a rush to marry marry all these things. Anyway must save up first mah!

But save save also, actually my wedding also no need save so much because my boyfriend very champion and say that our wedding will only have bubur (porridge) buffet! Bubur ayam, bubur ikan bilis, bubur kacang, bubur terigo, bubur breakfast dari KFC that kind, y'know? All very cheap cheap one. Confirm can mampu. Kalau tak mampu jugak, boleh tapau bubur masjid. Free.

And!!! Saving grace is that at least I not veh gelojoh when come to duit hantaran hor?! Just see someone tweet that got her friend asking $15,000.00 for duit hantaran leh!!! Just because got SIM degree or something lor. Please lah... many of our Malay girls got do us sibeh proud already with their degrees (some with their speed at making babies, but that's for a different story), your degree is only one in the dunno how many. Then somemore when the poor guy bargain (dah macam mak kau jual kau kat pasar pulak kan)... kena rejected!!! Fucking don't know what the guy thinking even bother to negotiate with ini anak who ask for $15,000.00 duit hantaran.

Suspect kuat she quoting $15,000.00 because her puki made of gold hor?!

Anyway! Anyway! Forget about $15,000.00 worth of golden puki. Just want to say... Kecoh betul ah to be in your twenties and getting all these engagement and wedding invitations, since this is the age where friends around you start to make their relationship legal one, and not paktor secret secret or keep on break patch break patch like budak secondary school playing monkey love. All sangkut inside serious long-term relationships already. All want to make own baby already!!!

(Mestilah make own baby eh, takkan make other people's baby..... dah salah tu.)

Of course, when I hear that my friends going to married, I sibeh happy for them also lah, and it is also sibeh wahhhhh (or SERIOUS PE SAK?! depending on which friend) when you see this friend or that friend getting married when, say, five years ago when you know him or her, you cannot imagine he or her sitting on dais and showing whole world that he or she going to take care of the person beside him or her for the rest of their lives lor.

(I say for the rest of their lives, because I want to have the belief in my friends ah - and also because I don't want to become spoilsport hur hur - but if you ask me again on a horrible day when I feeling bitchy and overworked, I will probably say "rest of their lives, my foot!" and throw all the divorce files that I handle at work into your fucking face. Probably print out the latest divorce statistics on good quality paper for you to frame up also heh heh heh. And anyway, actually, I am very practical person one lah, I don't really trust got forever after, but if really got then it is a bonus lor. So just hoping that my friends behave enough to get that bonus hor... Hor???)

Ok, these ones are from Fy's wedding.

In case you don't know who Fy is, he is my ex-boyfriend's best friend, but he is so damn funny and gerek with me, that we got keep in touch and it helps also that I am on good terms with my ex-boyfriend Zul, the freakin' awesome Zul, so ya lor, I also very excited to see Fy get married, don't know how many evenings and lunches we spend under his block and/or tempat makan discussing about relationships lah what stupid things lah. Eh! Maybe should put up a video from yeeeaaaaaarrrrrsssssssssssss ago when he pull a prank on me!!!

If you don't understand, nehmind lah, basically he go and put a picture of me inside a frame, switch on some cheena tok pekong music and started to make like as if it is some holy ritual penyembahan thing lor! Biadab gila sak!!! I was just coming back from the toilet sak, and kena stunt until like that. So naughty right this (bapak) budak.

Tapi naughty, naughty jugak. Yang penting, Siti... Lu jaga jaga hah.....

Sorry my face kena pixelated. Ugly shots cannot put on public display mah!!! (Ya, tell that to fuckers who looking for trouble and suka suka tagging all the fuck ugly shots of me on Facebook.)

Fy, please take good care of Siti hor! She so sweet like that! Don't know how she stick with you for so long right?! Hahahahaha. And please behave because you veh old already leh, zaman gemilang over already, that zaman gemilang can archive inside scrapbook already.

Next was I go to another old friend Nooreen's wedding! Unfortunately when I reach she go to the groom's side already :((( Was hoping very hard to see her lor because it's been long time sak!!! Nehmind, nehmind..... just see you inside your Facebook pictures can hor woman! Jangan lupa poke aku ok. Or hit me with a Memory / Orange / Sea Turtle / Leather / Farah Fawcett pillow ok.

On second thoughts, poke aku jelah. Better to kena poke than kena hit by pillow.

Too many people hitting me with pillows on Facebook already, those cibai fuckers.

Ok, best wishes for you and your hubby hor?! When you and hubby get baby already, and your baby having his or her one year old birthday party, invite me leh! (Ya, I very shameless one)

In the meantime, this is the only thing that I got take picture of from her wedding:

Ala. Never get picture of pengantin, get picture of signboard pun jadi lah eh.

Eh I also want to put picture of her wedding invitation card which use good quality and veh nice!

Look at what she write as my name on the envelope!!!

Farnamals & Partner eh!!! Thanks eh. First time someone invite me go her wedding and put my name as Farnamals on the invitation envelope! Ok ah dok, later when I getting married, I invite you and put "Spoiltbutterfly & Husband" on the invitation envelope ok????? Hur hur hur. (Oh, and the reason why I never make pixelate my hometown Tampines is because most people know that I live in Tampines the Awesome anyway mua ha ha ha. Tinggal tempat baik mesti mau ya ya dok)

Oklah, these two is all for now.

Actually got another third one which is my Boss punya wedding but that one in a separate entry when I have the time lah ok? Got many things to complain about so need to make damn long entry on that lor. Oklah, actually not many things to complain about lah, only one actually..... which is the damn fucking corset that I wear to his wedding lor!!! Fucking corset make me look like my body kena cut into three different parts (can apply become David Copperfield assistant and be part of his cutting body stunt already). I even got hear my boobs and back crying to their deaths ok!!!

Very trauma, you know. Macam nak hit myself with a pillow (on Facebook).

I DON'T WANT TO HAVE CHILDREN?

2010-01-10T02:29:00.002+08:00

You know, I've been rethinking this whole "I don't want to have children" idea.

MAKE MY BODY PROSPER UNTIL BECOME LIKE BURGER

2010-01-09T15:10:00.008+08:00

Got tell you already or not that I been going to McDonalds non stop hits this past few days?

WAH REALLY JIALAT LOR. UNTIL RONALD MCDONALDS CAN RECOGNISE ME, ONE, LOR.

Hate hate hate it that I fucking love their Prosperity Burger and Twister Fries (hereinafter known as "PB &TF") so damn fucking much. The kind that every year going to be Chinese New Year only I will fucking wait for the promotion to come out lor. Even to the extent that Saliheen and I even had a step intellectual conversation about why they never put it inside their menu permanently, one! Enriching betullah paktor with budak Business School ni.

And what is also enriching is that I paktor with someone who loves PB & TF as much as I do.

Enriching ah... Enrich aku punya weight and waistline, pe.

And we don't even bother with the normal size one ok. We will order the 'Mega' size one everytime leh!!!

Mega-sized food for mega-sized people FTW.

LOOK AT THE GLEE ON HIS FACE!!! (not my muka kental bodek)

This one was taken when we impromptu end up at Kallang McDonalds after paktor around the area. Fucker sibeh excited and ask me to hurry up take picture so he can eat his PB & TF. Ape je. Step PB & TF ada kaki je boleh lari. Oh, do you know that Kallang McDonalds punya Prosperity Burger punya meat is damn fucking huge??????????? Actually McDonalds supposed to be consistent or something like that right, like, each and every outlet the food must be same same kind... but wahlau eh, this inconsistency I like! The daging size damn setanding with the size of my thigh lor! (Or maybe my wrestler arm, as seen in the picture above)

And this Kallang McDonalds date was, like, the third time that we makan PB & TF in three days in a row?! Weighing machine minta ampun but the tekak betul betul telah berpesta sak! Oh! And now McDonalds also got the Doraemon soft toys promotion thing one leh!!! WAH I LOVE DORAEMON!!! Very happy girl now. I got six of the promotion Doraemon soft toys already, now waiting for the rest of the other six to come and my collection will become complete.

You all got hear about the backlash thing that McDonalds got kena or not, though? People make noise because the Doraemons supposed to be following the Chinese calendar animals or what lah, following the Zodiac... but the pig is missing because McDonalds scared offend Muslims inside the country lah what lah.

Personally, I really think no big deal lor, and that McDonalds make wrong move to replace the pig with a Cupid instead. It is, after all, supposed to follow the Chinese calendar thing since promotion in conjunction with Chinese New Year mah. Not like you put pig inside the food, what. I myself won't be offended by it leh... in fact, find it a bit ridiculous. You want to take care of one community's heart and sensitivities but in the end, never think of the heart and sensitivities of the very community that you are supposed to be celebrating the promotion with.

The Muslim community who go McDonalds can always choose not to buy the pig soft toy if they uncomfortable with it, what. And anyway hor, if want to be so bleeding particular then why got the animal dog inside the promotion also????? Both pig and dog also Muslims cannot be in contact with, what. Sampai pikiran aku da.

BUT! Pikiran macam mana pun, yang no need to pikir is that PB & TF definitely winner inside my heart.

<PB & TF IS A WINNER3

And this one was when go Bugis McDonalds with Lisa!

How can I not be PB & TF fanatic like that if both my boyfriend and my best friend also fanatic about PB & TF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Menjadi jadi siol. Or what my Ibu would say "Oi! Naik lemak eh kau!"

Sial lah... Ni literally naik lemak sak.

I veh jealous of people who can bring themself to order McNuggets lah, Fillet O Fish lah, while this PB & TF promotion going on leh!!! Like, I will see someone order McNuggets meal or what and I will turn to whoever is beside me (most likely Saliheen or Lisa, since only either of these two will be with me when I die die want to eat PB & TF) and say "How can that person bring himself to eat McNuggets when there's fucking Prosperity Burger????? How?!?! PROSPERITY BURGER LEH."

Fillet O Fish jangan cakap ah, I cannot even imagine why anyone want to eat that even when PB & TF promotion is not going on (>_________<) Hur hur hur. If no PB & TF promotion, it's Double Cheeseburger with no pickle for the win plz.

Haha oklah, kena run. Going to Boss punya wedding in two hours' time and kena get ready now.

Hope his wedding food good hor, if not, SATU MEGA PROSPERITY BURGER KASI SAMA DIA.

MY BEST FRIEND VERY GOOD WITH HER HAND, ONE

2010-01-08T00:54:00.005+08:00

Hello! I machiam very active on my blog ah this past few days ah.

I miss my old times last time when I very free and easy and got a lot of time to chit chat and blog my normal nonsense on regular basis leh. Cannot tahan when I hear my sisters or any other anak anak yang sebaya dengannya who complaining about school this lah, school that lah, EH CIBAI LAH.

You go school can everyday wear slipper (or sneaker of your choice), still want to complain. I everyday go office kena wear goddamned high heels until leg pain leh. You go school can get weeks of holiday, still want to complain. I everyday kena go office then when want to have holiday, kena fill up form and submit to boss one week in advance leh, kanina.

Le sigh. Now really got no fucking time actually, when become working adult, half your life is spend working your bleeding ass off and the other half of your life niat hati actually want to wash up that bleeding ass of yours but too fucking tak larat to do it. What's the point, lagipun? Next day you wake up and you work your bleeding ass all over again.

Wahlau... why am I so bitter when talking about work ni.

I think one of the part that make working life bearable for me at least is that I got awesome bosses and even more awesome colleagues and of course my own best friend who also there work with me. Eh, talking about my awesome best friend ah, come, come! I want to show off the awesome thing that my dear Lisa got make for me on her own.

So sparkly and so nice!!! But I got also ask her ah, how come not purple colour.

Must use my favourite colour leh next time!

Hahahahahaha. Ya, ya, I know what you starting to think, that I am damn terrible and damn no shame. Ala, sorry lah geng, all these terrible behaviour, damn shameless behaviour, all these actually I learnt it from the very best ah. Who else if not LISA HERSELF AH.)

Oklah, oklah, bluffing only ah Lisa, please don't throw the paperweight at my face in office later hor.

Anyway since I can never say this one enough, thank you and spank you, woman!!! Love you to bits and love all your amazing little gifts (walaupun ada yang bukan my favourite purple colour but is instead yellow and red in colour, machiam nak celebrate Chinese New Year gitu... aku taulah kau darah Cina, but still).

But really lah, it's an amazing handmade gift. Shake shake until make me have cheap thrill!!!

She got put our pictures inside somemore, you can see hor!!! Pretty exciting stuff. The only thing I want to complain (besides it not being purple colour) is that wahlau eh, the pictures that she use to put inside is just damn weird lor. Oklah, the Halloween picture where she become Wilma Flintstone and I become Betty Rubble still oklah, can make it lah, the ribbon in my hair look quite chio BUT THE OTHER PICTURE!!! Kimak, that picture taken when I just about to kena eye infection sak. Sejarah disebaliknya gila babi peh tak glam siol.

Aiyah, don't know how come I can have best friend who is so creative and very free time like Lisa. (And don't know how to choose proper pictures. And don't know use my favourite colour to handmake my gifts)

But creative macam mana pun, a lot of time macam mana pun, can imagine not! My best friend just know few days ago that I actually have dimples!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This one if take the ultimate Best Friends Forever test confirm fail already, kena pangkah and kena kick out school and onto the road until kena langgar motorcar already. Hur hur hur, but aiyah, to be fair I don't think people notice it also, because my dimples sibeh mini and will only come out when I laugh, like damn hard kind. Maybe because my dimples also a bit shy, so malu sikitlah nak jumpa orang.

Eh, actually I got many many stories to tell, especially nonsense stories like these also lah, since I got go two weddings the other time, and got go McDonalds to eat Prosperity Burger and Twister Fries, like, a million times. But no time lah, remember, aiyah I think I better catch some sleep now hor.

Tomorrow kena work my bleeding ass off again, kanina..........

YOU DO WHAT SEARCH UNTIL CAN COME MY BLOG?!

2010-01-06T00:33:00.002+08:00

When got some people do searches on the Internet for information and someway, somehow, my blog address kena listed and they got click on my blog link, I can know what are the lepak things that these some people got search for on the Internet before ending up at my blog address. Too fucking hilarious lah korang ni.

To the person who looked for apa maksud pukimak:

Honey, if you kena search Internet for its meaning, it probably means that you're not ready for the word ok.

To the person who searched "cotton on" security camera:

YOU CONFIRM PLANNING TO ROB COTTON ON, ONE, RIGHT?!

And best of all, to the person who searched for online free foto bulu ketiak girl:

Kat sini takde free foto bulu ketiak girl ah dok.

WATCH MOVIE BECAUSE GOT PRETTY BAJU ONLY

2010-01-03T02:10:00.008+08:00

Yuuu-hhhuuuuu! I just come back from damn awesome Saturday date with my boyfriend! :D

In case you a bit slow in timing (ni mesti tak pass 2.4km NAPFA run), the Prosperity Burger and Twister Fries promotion from McDonalds come back already and make me go until fucking crazy!!! Had my lunch there with my boyfriend today and only after finish gobble everything up within seconds then I realise that I never take any pictures, one. But no worry, no worry, hor. On Monday, lunchtime confirm McDonalds jugak datang mari. Haha! That's it ah, Prosperity Burger and Twister Fries come back already, my body also become Prosperity Body ah, jialat ah.

After the awesome gelojoh macam babi meal, we go and watch Sherlock Holmes, which we want to watch all this time lor! I liked the movie lah... I mean, I got see better ones before ah, but the movie was pretty ok. BUT THE FUCKING COSTUMES. The fucking costumes which Rachel McAdams wear as the Irene Adler character is fucking gorgeous until can jilat gigi leh!!! The ones on the lead male characters also look fantastic kia, but the ones on the ladies really to die for lor!

Been trying to Google pictures of the costumes so can show off inside my blog but even hardcore Googler like me cannot seem to find :( Don't know where they hiding the pictures also! Not fair seh... I thought gorgeous things must be shared to the whole world, one?! Aiyah, nehmind lah, maybe in a few days' time (which is sibeh fucker, because Internet age supposed to be damn instant maggi mee kind leh) I come and check again, maybe will have. In the meantime, only have these ones which can never really see that much lor:

Mad, mad gorgeous!!!!! The pictures above sibeh lao ya one, never justify the chioness!!!!!

Please go and watch the movie yourself so you can go and see what I mean, hor. I myself even cannot seem to choose which one is my favourite. I might just style one of my wedding dress after one of the costumes! (One of my wedding dress sehhhhh. Cita cita tinggi seh, sampai nak more than one wedding dress, nampak!) All very pretty and all also I want!!! Even though don't know why I want also lah actually, not like can wear when I go makan at coffeeshop behind my flat or what, right. Or even wear to go office!!! Confirm my boss tell me I am seow and ask me go home and never come back (actually, that sounds like a pretty good idea.....)

Wahlau eh, other people go and watch Sherlock Holmes, then come back and talk about the movie punya special effects lah, Robert Downey Jr / Jude Law punya acting skills lah, the director Guy Richie punya interpretation of the famous detective's adventures lah, the plot lah... but for me, I come back and talk about the dresses and set costumes and how fucking pretty they all are until can make me salivate and feel like want to faint!!!

Perangai damn girl girl sak.

GENERATE A NEW YEAR RESOLUTION FOR ME LEH

2010-01-02T14:21:00.009+08:00

Click Monina Verlarde’s New Year’s Resolution Generator to generate your New Year's Resolution!

(I did, and it fucking hit the nail the head. Bahasa menunjukkan bangsa siol ni.)

THAT TIME I GOT CELEBRATE WHEN 2010 COMING

2010-01-02T13:11:00.005+08:00

HOW YOU ALL PUNYA NEW YEAR SO FAR????????????

Happening? Not happening? Still want to say that life sucks and/or is damn taik??? Still don't want to wake up and smell the damn roses??? Still want to tell the whole world in your blog again and again that you might look happy but actually you're not happy lah, and the laughter is all bluffing only lah, actually you are so bloody sad lah, want to slit wrists lah??? Or dah ready to grow fucking up and move on to bigger things and greater plans already?!?!?!

Mine have been mad awesome and the celebration last two nights was fantastic lor. Or now already considered last three nights?! Wah, banyak confused ini anak. But aiyah, aiyah, fuck the technical part lah hor, you all know what I mean! Sibeh fast hor 2009 pass away just like that... now must remember to date my documents at work properly already if not my Boss will become very bitchy like that time and ask me "We travelling back in time is it?"

Kimak, got long weekend no need go work tapi mention pasal work. WHAT IS THIS.

Anyway, the whole of New Year's Eve was a blur blur punya rush because kena jolt out of sleep in ungodly hours of the morning because had a completion to do on Lisa's behalf and almost wanted to punch the girl from the other law firm punya face! But now new year already I lazy lah want to get angry and go into details lah. SO ANYWAY after that rounding one Tampines damn fast to try and find new clothes for the night punya party but couldn't find any that I like!!! Cibai ah. Somemore waste a lot of time at the completion already so went home to wash up and rush out again for my manicure and pedicure appointment before rushing off to Lisa's place to pick her up. My fresh pedicure even kena smudge rabak because wore my heels even before it is dry properly one :(

But nehmind! Get over it already because in 2010, everything must stay happy! Smudge or no smudge :D

I mean, ok lah, usually I got no New Year resolution but I think if I have, I will make it that everything cibai that happen, I must learn to calm myself down and believe that it is not cibai! A bit difficult for someone who is impatient, have zero tolerance for inefficiency, stubborn gila and got quick temper hor but wahlau I trying leh.

Not very hard, but at least I trying, right!

Aiyah, what I talking? Waste time ah talking so much, so now I just put pictures lah hor.

Plans was with boyfriend and best friend, then best friend bring along one of her good friend and ex-colleague Hemely who is fucking lovely and also become our pubbing consultant for the night because that woman is, like, know every crook and cranny and corner, one! She bring us to BQ Bar for New Year's Eve night and tuirn out to be good because that place was just nice, not too many people, the music and drinks were decent, and the staff members sibeh friendly and got give happy service! :D

Next time I want to try other pubs also! Before going out I got send out tweet asking for recommendations on pubs and got a few replies, and while in the end we never follow up on the recommendations, I will most definitely go to all the pubs that kena recommend inside the reply tweets to me. Starting to like this whole pubbing thing lor heh heh.

In the end we decide to make our countdown at BQ Bar also!

My awesome people :D

BQ Bar also give us party goodies to play around with! So we've got our goodies...

... we're got our drinks

And we've got our Picture of the Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

See lah never learn your lesson right. Next time people want to take picture just smile leh! Don't pretend cannot tahan paparazzi and try to stop the camera lah what lah. Ambik kau balasan.

And here are of course the best girls to go party with. Happening dok.

BFF & BF :D

I'm damn underdressed hor!!! As in not underdressed tak cukup kain kind, but more like not appropriate lor in my opinion. Actually inside my mind thinking oklah, go pub relaks kind, but when reach there, really regret never wear more glamourous lor. That's it ah, next time I will really dress up... in the tak cukup kain kind.

Brought along my ribbon cekak to see if it match my outfit but my boyfriend confirm that it never (dektu kan part-time fashion consultant) so only later on then realise that it suits Lisa for that night better and I get her to wear! So pretty ah (my ribbon cekak).

And also starting to get this whole wearing fake eyelashes thing!!! Happy siol.

Ok lah, I know my one look a bit unstable, like going to tercabut anytime kind but I promise to do better.

(Will try to do better with the eyeshadow too, hee hee mentel gila sak)

Most expensive jug of Vodka Redbull, balls.

Me: Eh next time married already cannot show our son or daughter this picture. Later he or she ask Mak, mak, what is this ah!!! then how.

Boyfriend: Say Iced Lemon Tea ah.

Ok, to our future son or daughter, that one your bapak lie to you one ah, not me ah.

After a while, we start to talk about how this whole partying thing is too old for us (Lisa was yawning by 1am plus and I also macam want to tidur terduduk already, perangai damn zaman purba plz) but Hemely tell us that we must continue! Kena pep talk until the night is still young all come out. Wah paiseh sak, somemore she is someone whose age is more ancient than us but can tahan longer! Still got cheek to say we're too old for this mua ha ha.

So oklah, to keep the party spirit going, with our warcry of "The night is still young((er) than Hemely)" we decide to move around a bit and after ding dong between Zirca and/or Rebel, and China One, in the end we decide to hit Lisa's favourite place, Attica, which is also where Hemely's husband also working! In the end never regret because that place is motherfucking happening lah sak!!! Attica got win itself a new fan, which is me lah of course, so looks like I will go back there again soon (i.e. when I not feeling that I am too old for this mua ha ha.)

Hello ribbon girl.

ALL I NEED IN THIS LIFE OF SIN, Y'ALL

Me, Hemely, Lisa and the million people who were partying behind us.

YAY DRINKS.

Bartenders tumpang sekaki dan se-camera, nampak!

Hello my sexybee :p

This one not sexybee. Wahlau, the face!!!!!!!!!!! Asking to kena throw inside toilet bowl.

Suddenly Lisa got make new friend from Iran.

BAHAGIA NAMPAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HEE HEE HEE.

I want to say it must be the cute ribbon cekak, but our dear extremist Iranian friend said to Lisa "You don't need to wear the ribbon, you're already cute as it is" ZZZHHHAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP. Jatuh, girl.

Dekni pun tumpang bahagia. Maybe because banyak dia punya members inside the club that night.

We socialised a bit (one guy asked me whether Saliheen is a colleague, schoolfriend, cousin..... or boyfriend? and when I tell him it is boyfriend, he keep on gesture to Saliheen and shout over the music sorry ah bro, I talking only, don't angry ah... sorry ah bro, I talking only, don't angry ah hahahahahahaha EH RELAKS AH BRO, boyfriend gua relaks chill punya type ah, that's why gua sangkut sama dia. Tak berkenan lah jealous babi type of boyfriend!), drank hard and danced harder, it was all very shiok lor. And again I kena mistaken as a Chinese girl (-_________-)

Oklah tomorrow change my name to Tan Ah Mei ah.

Going home time from the club was damn cibai because cannot find one bloody cab at all even when try to call the cab companies!!! All the uncle cabs also go countdown and party kot.

But before that, yang bagusnya, we dapat cover the makan part, so must say big thank you to our extremist Iranian friend who scored us free food from his uncle's restaurant which was few steps away from Attica! The only seram part was when he start lecture and argue with me about religion. Akak takut!

Ok, now that today is my first Saturday of 2010, I want to go and utilise it with all my pending errands such as go back to office to clear my work (damn sial), grab a bit of shopping and maybe catch movie with boyfriend hor?! Long time never watch movie sak, and I thinking maybe can go and either one catch Sherlock Holmes or Alvin & The Chipmunks, but just like how I think we are too old for partying, we are also too old for high-pitched talking chipmunks so suspect kuat will watch Sherlock Holmes instead lor... if we also too old for Sherlock Holmes, don't know what to say already, might as well sit inside the grave diam diam already.

Shit lah. Now that I thinking about it, macam tak sempat lah! Too many things, too little time! Tonight must be at Busu's place actually, because original plans was to go out ramai ramai enjoy with the Cousins but Busu damn suay kena hospitalised on New Year's Eve and now she is back at home recuperating so we kena stay in with her instead, and maybe order food in or what lah. So now what time already, where got time to travel to office!

Fuck lah girl, give yourself a break leh. Or maybe give yourself a good hearty laugh.

So let's see that Picture of the Day again:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

(Boyfriend have been complaining that I embarass him a lot inside my blog entries and my tweets but not my fault what if he keep making such badut expressions and statements, what! Saaayyyaaannnggg badut I.)

Happy New Year eh everyone. Laugh hard, love harder and live the hardest.

Not only the night is still young hor, the year is also still young leh!

EVERYTHING ALSO MY BOYFRIEND WILL EAT

2010-01-02T00:26:00.002+08:00

Boyfriend: (The Thais) put a lot of lemongrass and in their food. And lime. Natural slimming food.
Me: LOVE. Tapi I tak slim pun.
Boyfriend: Because you eat chocolates and sweets and marshmallows and candies and icecream. Mana tak. Aku agak bila kita dah kahwin, kita tinggal dalam rumah witch dalam Hansel and Gretel.
Me: Kau biadab apesal.
Boyfriend: We can't be Hansel and Gretel though. Because if you drop the bread to make a path back home, i'll end up eating the bread crumbs... confirm sesat. Hahahahahahahaha.

In case you didn't get the joke, I invite you to have dinner with my boyfriend. (He eats everything except the chairs.)

MY NEW YEAR ENTRY ALWAYS VERY SHORT ONE

2009-12-31T11:55:00.001+08:00

As per usual practice every year, I do not have any useless New Year resolutions to make.

2009 has been fucking amazing and 2010 can only be much fucking better :D

I will see you all next year, bbs.

BEFORE BECOME HUSBAND AND WIFE

2009-12-27T04:23:00.011+08:00

One fine day before kena terrible food poisoning (refer previous entry) I go to engagement ceremony.

Not just any engagement ceremony but it is for one of my paternal cousins! I think I always say time and time again that I don't favourite my paternal side because they are damn vicious and I'm the kind who will be vicious to those who are vicious so I never even attempt to make nice with them lor.

But this one is different because this is my most favourite family from my extended paternal family side! They are different from the rest and I can get along well with them ah, especially with my best paternal cousin ever Nadiah (Intan) of course. Went to their house in the early noon to see the place already bursting with excitement and activities. First thing first I check out the barang barang dulang!!! I don't know what's it's called leh... but I know his one was very elaborate and awesome.

There were a lot, I see machiam never ending, but here are some lah hor.

Shit, actually got this super cool treasure chest thing that holding the "petanda" for the money to be given leh... but I don't know where the picture already heh heh heh. Hiding under the dulang agaknya.

The budak budak kecik in the house! When I look back at my paternal side, machiam a lot of mixture ah! Indian blood lah, Chinese blood lah, German blood lah, suka korang main campur campur?! But quite interesting ah. We all are cousins but have different skin colours and facial features kind. Betul nya multi-racial siol ini family. Akak approve!

Singa.pore Govern.ment pun mesti approve! Siap comes with Singapore OK! stamp lagi.

Told my nenek that together, we look like a tree! She is the leaves and I am the... tree trunk.

Aku dah biasa dah jadi batang pokok..........................

And here is the little Bambam of the family!!! Mintak kena ramas pe dekni. He very good boy, you know! Never hear him cry before, one. Passing him around also he relaks chill only. If more babies were like this, then maybe I will change my mind... and might want to have a baby. A baby. (Yes, Saliheen, I still have qualms about having a child. Kau lagi nak mimpi ada lebih dari satu anak??????? Lupakan saja niat kelakar seram kau tu.)

FOOD FOOD GLORIOUS FOOD! OM NOM NOM NOMZZZ.

What is family gathering without fucking good food right?! I think I had like, a million rounds of food.

In the end I never follow to the girl's side for the exchanging of gifts and makan and doa session and phototaking and the fitting of the ring because... I SIBEH LAZY. Tau nak duduk kat rumah besarkan pantat and conquer buffet only.

And anyway, no mood to go also, because as usual my boyfriend paitao and in the end never come (Oklah tak paitao lah, cuma cuaca tidak menentukan. CUACA AH NI, PAITAO.) and also since my cousin Intan was down with fever and flu and cannot go... and I got no one else to roll with already lor :( End up playing cak cak with our little bambam above and also watching the don't know what some Wiwit Anggun videos on Youtube on how to wear eyeshadow. Even play around and use Intan's fucking awesome eyeshadow palette to follow and I end up having pretty nice eyes!!! That's it, I must buy eyeshadow and wear them more hor. Never been a fan of eyeshadow but looks like a Youtube video changed my life that afternoon.

Awesome pe ini perempuan.

After finish playing with eyeshadow sui sui the rest of the family come back from the girl's side, and they come back to bring the presents that the girl give the guy's side pulak! My personal favourite is the pulut kuning... the prawns motherfucking huge sak!

These are the things from the girl's side. Got somemore ah but pictures don't know where.

Aiyah, seems like my pictures all pulling disappearing acts! Dorang pikir ni magic show ke ape sak.

And that is my very happy and hyper cousin Abang E posing with them.

I tell my abang sedara that they should have give him Manchester United merchandise instead of Liverpool ones just for kicks!!! Haha! Dulang tu yang akan kena kicks!!! Hur hur, just so you know he is a fucking hardcore Liverpool fan who typical ah, condemn Manchester United lah, ape lah. I don't understand lah all these soccer rivalry ni semua.

All these engagement talk starting to make me thinking about all my friends who getting engaged or married!!! Just met the rempit girls Anie and Eyla for lepak hisap rokok macam dragon session just now and we got talking about throwing hen party for Eyla before her wedding in May! I never got throw a hen party before and I am maha excited like hen who is laying eggs!!! (Laying eggs not exciting news meh???)

But of course must focus on the immediate one first and that is, I also got two friends punya weddings coming up first thing January. Already it can make me feel machiam surreal lor, to have friends that I know for long time already are GETTING MARRIED. It's, like, sial lah, getting married is for... adults sak.

Oklah, oklah, all my friends and I also all adults lah. Have bills to pay lah. Got income tax to worry about lah. Got CPF money lah. Use adult ez-link card to take public transport lah. YE LAH, YE LAH, ADULT LAH.

I talk so much actually Saliheen and I long time already adult and discuss our kalau jodoh tak ke mana plans already heh heh heh. Since we on same wavelength one, we decide together that we will not have all these tunang tunang thing with all the dulang dulang thing. Buat simple je! Just exchange ring and ask family members to come down and have semangkuk bubur dan seekor ikan bilis enough already... yang penting must go up the dais as husband and wife heh heh heh.

ACTUALLY KAN.

The one thing that is penting to me is that we must go up the bed as husband and wife HEH HEH HEH.

SANTA, WE HAVE A (FOOD-POISONING) PROBLEM

2009-12-26T20:10:00.008+08:00

Happy 25th day of December to all the people who celebrate the day!

Those who never celebrate, jangan perasan believe in Jesus (yang kena crucify punya version)!

Since we are talking about this 25th of December punya day, I think it is also good time to tell happy story about the other time when my company got hold a Christmas party! Actually, usually our firm will just go out together lah, go to a nice expensive restaurant then eat and mingle with each other kind but this year the firm decide to be different and throw a small private Christmas party at our cosy gila branch office.

On the day itself perangai budak gemuk gelojoh menyerlah and was so fucking excited because get makanan free until I sacrificed lunch. By the time the food came, so hungry my stomach was holding mass protest and aku macam nak telan the metal containers sekali sak! But never ah. Can imagine if I really eat the metal containers or not?! Confirm berak jubo koyak siol.

There was a huge spread and wah, sibeh spoilt for choice lor! So tak jadi ah makan metal containers.

Wah cibai, see all these food while I'm feeling fucking hungry now is not very good thing to do hor.

The saliva dripping like mad.

Ok, anyway, dripping saliva dikesat aside, on the night of the party we waiting hopelessly for Santa to come and give us presents!!! But he never come ah, suspect kuat we got no chimney inside our office which he can come out from. Takkan nak keluar dari pipe aircon kan.

But at least we have our little beardless Santa's elf running around machiam his uncle own the place.

Oh wait... actually ya lah, his uncle does own the place, fuck.

He is so hyper! Don't know he using what kind of batteries until so much energy leh!!!

Pakai solar energy kot.

The fucking fantastic girls from my office, and the bottom two is our ex-interns Hao Jin and Nadiah!

AND. Our party will not be happening without our in-house DJ Kat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Her (Christmas) Music is make or break ok.

Boyfriend also come for the festivities (and especially the food). Menyebok as usual only lor.

And here is our picture as a whole group :D

The ones with black circles of course the bosses of the firm lah. Cannot show face! The one with the Santa face is of course our biggest boss ever. Hello big boss! If you really want to be a good Santa then must learn to be more giving ok?! My bonus must give more more ok?! If never give more lu balek North Pole pun cantik ok?! (And yes, I not like you all get bonus already. My bonus is in January, one)

Wah, the party was really good fun!!! Got people from neighbouring firms come, from the main body all come, and after done with the mingling and toasting, we do our exchange of gifts! This year we got do the Secret Santa game in which one person (without looking) choose another person's name and cannot tell anyone who this person is, but must only buy a Christmas present for that person!!! And then on the day itself, each and everyone will have to open present which got their name, and each get three guesses to guess who the giver of the present is.

The guessing part sibeh funny. Ketawa lepak until no oxygen kind.

(Oh! My Secret Santa is Iqah by the way and she give me a tanktop from Clubmarc! Thanks woman!)

After the party end, I go home and watch TV with my boyfriend and also my sisters, who tumpang gembira and bedal all the Christmas party food which I tapau back because there was too much leftover (specifically my last sister)

The next day more makan when we went my abang sedara's engagement ceremony!!!!!!!!

No wonder ah my weighing scale mintak ampun that weekend.

And do you know what also mintak ampun that weekend?????????????

My head! My throat! My stomach! And my jubo!

And why did they mintak ampun over that weekend???

BECAUSE I KENA FOOD POISONING, KANINABU CHAO CIBAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At first I thought it is normal stomachache from eating too much or maybe my menstrual cramps because I expect my monthly red friend to come anytime soon anyway but in actual fact my stomach under attack by food poisoning lor! Fucking cibai experience jerking out of sleep and vomitting my whole stomach out ok. Even my last sister kena!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Actually just us two, my mother father and second sister never kena, but we suspect it is from the engagement ceremony even though cannot pinpoint what is it.

But at night my boyfriend tell me his stomach also not very good and he keep shitting so I suspect maybe not food from my abang sedara's engagement ceremony... and texted Lisa to ask whether she ok. She reply and say she got fever and vomitting and diarrhea... just like my sister and I lor!!!!!!!!!!!

CIBAI!!!!!!!!!!!!! MUST BE THE FOOD FROM THE CHRISTMAS PARTY LOR!!!

Wah, sibeh regret eat so much of the food from the party until there's no tomorrow or what. Later on got find out that half of the people from my firm also kena.

Kanasai, this is first time we have our Christmas party at our office and order in food from catering and look lor what happen!!! Suspect kuat we know come from which food source and which food caterer but don't want to anyhow point fingers so let's-sue-the-caterers jokes aside, we decide to let it slide.

But still very angry, you know! Happened on a fucking Sunday leh!

Fucking wasted my weekend, being all miserable because I feeling like I going to die anytime on my deathbed lor. So weak and so tiring and so cibai ok, vomitting and shitting the whole day. So much for makan metal containers akan berak until jubo koyak.

Makan (contaminated) turkey also can make the jubo machiam nak koyak lah sial.

ALL MY SINGLE LADIES! ALL MY SINGLE LADIES!

2009-12-25T00:55:00.006+08:00

HELLO HELLO HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!
Sound very delighted ah?! But of course lah must sound very delighted, today no work siol!!!!!!!!!!!! All the fuckers at work manage to convince the boss that we really need the holiday since, aiyah, it's the festive season to be jolly tra la la la la lalalala anyway right, so for first time in known history of our firm, boss really give leh! Saaayang my happening boss many plenty.

Cuma even though tomorrow also no need go office since it is public holiday because of Christmas, maybe tomorrow I going back office to clear some work. True story of my life. Tragic hor?!

But tonight, tonight! I got a lot of time so can write a lot of nonsense here as usual. Yesterday was sial because initial plans actually to go party at Attica and start my "all my single ladies! all my single ladies!" routine since my boyfriend have abandon me here to fly off to Bangkok a.k.a Land of Awesome for nine days but monthly red friend no fucking manners and rempuh maha rempuh... so no party for me last night, only bad cramps, bitchfits and bleedin' attitude :(

But at least now got energy to talk nonsense inside my blog ah.

Now that I'm here, and tengok tengok balek... it seems like I still haven't tell you all about that time we surprise Syaf for her birthday right?!?!?! Actually it was all thanks to her boyfriend ah who plan everything even though machiam want to chop FAIL on his planning and preparation skills because last minute everything!!! And the location was so jauh I walking walking in Pasir Ris but never reach reach until I thought it is actually at Paris punya Eiffel Tower sak.

OH. AND THERE WAS NO CAKE. NOT EVEN A CUPCAKE.

Wahpiang eh, pantang nenek moyang sebelah mak aku kalau birthday parties got no cake.

But oklah, give him credit lah, at least he put in effort to plan surprise for Syaf, which turn out to be awesomexxx in the end because she really never guess and never see us from far and we manage to shock her!!! Ok lah over here got pictures of when we shock her that time.

For good luck, must start with picture of nyah yang nasib paling suay di rantau Asia... NYA HA HA

We were waiting for birthday girl for damn long time lor, until Lisa punya baju pun mogok and rabak seribu
AND AFTER DAMN LONG TIME WAITING UNTIL THE TREES ALL ALSO GROW BEARD...

SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We shout.

Greeting all the guests which range from her colleagues, boyfriend's friends, lawmates...
Cuma Prime.Minister of Singapore je yang takde

We all love you ikan bilis!!! And we embrace and celebrate you and your... ikan bilisness!!!

And this is her boyfriend, tukang planner. Thank you Faris boyboy.

And her brother! Both siblings also the nose can use to cut vegetables, one. So sharp, hor?!

And of course her boyfriend's friends who were the tukang tukang masak

Without them and their awesome kerja keras we confirm eat grass and rocks that night, and maybe have the tree branches for dessert. So... Thank you guys!!! Sorry I eat all your barbequed food like a pig. But got good reason ok! I eat a lot because you all cook very nice lah. Nak mintak recipe boleh tak???

This one above is my fellow tukang makan

Azrul kimi kimek tengah kesukaan. Now I only see him, like, once in a million years lor. Last time we see each other everyday until can vomit blood and intestines one lor. Susah betul lah kawan dengan budak N.S ni

And these three who used to study with me at Syaf's place during Year Two, I think??? Wah, glory days, man, glory days. I still have babi pictures from those glory days leh. Maybe next time must put up again for laughs hor. Confirm pecah perut dok

My boyfriend found a St Josephs Instuition brother in Smitha's boyfriend (who is very hot mua ha ha).

What is it with boys from boys' school sharing bond even though they are strangers ah (Actually girls from girls' school also ah mua ha ha ha) I use to think I will never put my son or daugther in a single-sex school but now I think I change my mind. Fuck the cibai cibai who say girls from girls' school are jakun jantan ok!!! Kita yang jakun jantan ke korang yang jakun and fetish tengok girls in girls' school uniform. Puh-leez lor

(Sorry, told you mah, tengah monthly red friend. Perangai bitchy semacam now)

Syaf goofing around. Suka eh kau. Bahagiaaaaa

Got couples menjeng menjeng for the night (especially the last one)

JUMPING SHOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Believe me or not if I tell you that is first time I do successful jumping shot?! Kanina, everytime do confirm kena chop fail lor. I never seem to be able to get off the ground sak. The body too heavy mah, how to flying flying in the air.

Later that night Lisa come over my place for sleepover!!! Damn cibai fun with Cameroid.com and talking and talking with no fullstop like we always do. In the end very sian because original planning go Zoukout mah, but turn out to be living our sad lives behind our laptops... until my boyfriend have very champion idea which was to go sing our throats out at karaoke!!! So pukul satu pagi jugak kita pergi melalak at my usual place Cash Studio Simpang.

He even brought along his friend @mickeymudd who I keep hearing about and also reply tweets to but never really hang out with before heh heh heh. Very awesome guy, pandai nak mampos, is a walking encyclopedia and dictionary, and hilarious as hell. Girls who deny and say that such guys do not exist in the Malay community, IN YOUR FUCKING FACE.

Girls if interested, please follow him on Twitter (aku tengah promote kau ni, mat)

Insisted to the staff that must turn on my favourite disco ball heh heh

this one tengah nyanyi SIAPAKAH GADIS MISTERIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

the three good people who were with me

he think he singing nasyid

@mickeymudd & @eendahaus

the ever lovely @lis_lizzy

Don't forget to follow them on Twitter, y'all.

Ok what more I want to tell story about ah??????????? Been doing a lot of fabulous things in between but cannot remember at the moment so need to fucking pinch myself and remind myself to blog more often so these kind of things won't slip my mind all the time lor. The only other thing that maybe I should update for now is that my boyfriend has left for Bangkok!!!!!!!!!!! (Ok, actually I got mention earlier on in this entry right!) Leave me for nine days so right now we having long-distance relationship lor.

I remember in polytechnic time, Lisa once got ask me whether I can ever tahan a long-distance relationship and without pause, coma or hesitation I answered a quick and firm NO. I will never and can never tahan a long-distance relationship lor. Really, one. And this current episode seem to prove me right, and now I really salute people who can do these kind of long-distance relationship sak. I mean I've never been the pesky clingy kind of girlfriend but how can you look at this kind of adorable creature (see below) and not want him to be really right beside you so you can punch his face in over and over again for being so maha adorable?!

(Cute red ribbon cekak: Model's own)

So... ya lor. No long-distance relationship for me, please. Hear that or not, boyfriend?! Better come back after nine days hor. If not, that's it, all my single ladies! all my single ladies! for the rest of my fucking life.

IF NOTHING BETTER TO DO, THERE'S CAMEROID.COM

2009-12-17T21:56:00.008+08:00

Machiam long time never blog properly hor. Not that I die lah, choi choi.

Actually got many happening things instead! Just that aiyah, usual excuse, no time and energy lah.

One of the happening things that got happen in my life is this:

Muka pukimak sak.

And this happening thing that got happen too, of course:

Hahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha also sibeh damn cock lor.

Ok lah, that's all of the muka pecah stories that I have for today only. Tomorrow or next year (in another two weeks' time only what!) maybe I tell somemore stories. In the meantime... if you got nothing better to do, no more armpit hair to pluck, no more ridiculous blogs to laugh at... sila menyelungsuri Cameroid.com (http://www.cameroid.com/) kerana ianya amat rocks :D

Cuma muka miang cibai aku je yang tak rocks. Hampeh.

EH. But a bit sad ah, if most happening thing in life is making cibai faces at computer screen?!

I ALSO WANT TO KPO WIN A GARMIN-ASUS HANDSET

2009-12-17T00:53:00.026+08:00

WHY DO I WANT THE GARMIN-ASUS NUVIPHONE G60 OR M20?

In case you don't know and only I know, Nuffnang (http://www.nuffnang.com.sg/) got this ongoing contest ah, for people who want to win the Garmin-Asus G60 or M20! And they are asking whoever want this Garmin-Asus G60 or M20 must be creative and do a blog entry on why he or she want this Garmin-Asus G60 or M20!

Oh sorry, sorry..... you don't know what is a Garmin-Asus G60 or M20 ah?

Eh! How can don't know! Which era your mother give birth to you ni!

Ok, never mind, because I am nice (and want to have a chance to win the Garmin-Asus G60 or M20) I will tell you ok. The explanation is veh simple.

Garmin-Asus G60 and M20 are both sleek mobile handsets which got equipped with many useful features and functions such as:

the Windows Mobile Pro
high-speed wireless Internet
desktop web experience with full HTML browser
geo-tagged SMS, email and photo-sharing
location-based applications e.g. real-time traffic information, weather, Google local search, etc
one-step navigation from contacts, email and local search results
Garmin navigation experience, with voice-prompted, turn-by-turn directions that speaks street names

... and many other things lah! I think the only thing that it cannot do for you is wash your toilet bowl.

Sound machiam damn cheem and shiok hor.

Oklah, show you picture of the Garmin Asus G60 and M20 so you can get a better... er..... picture.

This one is G60:

And this one is M20:

I know look a bit machiam the same but what is important is that both also very sleek and jambu hor? Don't know if I will also become sleek and jambu if I get to own and use any of this gadget but never try, never know, right... that's why I want to try lor!

And for what else do I want any of this stylo milo ovaltine add milk gadget ah??? Veh simple answer also.

Free thing who don't want, right.

Ok lah, (half) joking (only) lah. I got more important reason why must want the Garmin-Asus G60 or M20 lor! And the more important reason why I must have the Garmin-Asus G60 or M20 is because I am very easy get lost one!!! My sense of direction very lousy, very cannot use one.

If don't believe what I say, then must read my last time blog entries about how I lost my way to the Dhoby Ghaut MRT Station (which also got describe how I lost my way trying to meet my friends for lunch at the Boat Quay area there) and also how I also almost got lost my way to Punggol before. Just few weeks back also got lost in Raffles City area looking for the SMRT Building to run an errand for my office but never do a blog entry on it lah, too paiseh to say about my unintentional adventures around the country already. Live inside Singapore for 22 years already but don't even know where is where and how to get there. Malu, you know!

Haiya..... Very jialat right my situation. Lucky last time I got make my mother draw a map for me on how to find my way around my own house. If not, confirm inside my own house also I will lost my way already... urgently want to go toilet, sekali accidentally go kitchen because go at wrong direction. Die.

If you still never believe me then I dare you to go to Esplanade or other Singapore landmark with me... and ask me to direct the way. Confirm lost until don't know go inside which forest and must call police come and rescue, one.

But if I get to win and own a Garmin-Asus G60 or M20, I no need to worry about getting lost until go inside forest anymore!

I also say that I want a Garmin-Asus G60 or M20 because inside the website (http://www.garminasus.com.sg/) say that Garmin-Asus G60 and M20 are created for "business meets pleasure" for "on-the-go professionals" mah. No wonder lah I interested in either Garmin-Asus G60 or M20! I am the perfect example of on-the-go professionals, what! Sometimes during office hours go downstairs for kopi (pleasure, but don't tell my boss ah) then suddenly clients start calling non-stop (business) ask to do this document and rush that email... with the Garmin-Asus G60 or M20 I will "have everything I need to get more done in less time" mah.

That one the website say, one..... and I also say because I agree lor.

Somemore with Garmin-Asus G60 or M20, I can check the weather ("Alamak, it's going to rain leh!"), check for movie times ("Going to rain already leh, better go watch movie") and check for fuel prices ("Eh, lucky the nearest petrol station got cheapest price for fuel leh, if not we cannot afford to go watch movie lor"), among others. So useful hor.

Actually like I always say, veh simple lah. The reason why I want the Garmin-Asus G60 or M20 is because it will be useful for my everyday work and social life, and it also appeals to me because it can do the three core things that I need: Connect. Communicate. Navigate.

Not joking, the Connect is because I am born in the new high-tech generation that must be wired and stay connected to everything and anything at all times everywhere, the Communicate is because I like to talk and exchange ideas and discussions a lot (in case you haven't notice) and lastly the Navigate because I don't want to continue being a blur cock who don't know where in the world she is.

Very smart hor this two Garmin-Asus G60 and M20, until can help me do so many things (except wash toilet bowl)! That's why it is called a smartphone lah (stating the obvious, I know, but these kind of things must also say in case got the uninitiated reading this).

(Wah, write the name Garmin-Asus G60 and M20 so many times inside this blog entry until can memorise the spelling by heart already, no need to refer to website or dictionary already.)

But ah... I talk so much also... if I never win then... aiyah, never mind lah.

Never win then too bad lor.

Must ask my mother draw for me map of the whole of Singapore already.

GOT HEAR OF PENGUINS SELLING BOOKS BEFORE NOT

2009-12-06T17:03:00.008+08:00

Been trying to monitor bank account so haven't start resorting to eating grass, so far.

And as a reward for myself, I decide to splurge a bit on books!!!

(Ya, I know, perangai damn cannot make it hor?! Reward myself for not spending money... BY SPENDING MONEY. Fail. But aiyah, if no money to eat because of this slight... transgression, then... MAKAN BUKU AH. Apa susah sangat. Sia sia je jadi ulat buku kalau tak makan buku.)

Yesterday is happy day because yesterday got Penguin Book Sale at Singapore Expo!!! Ever since got one of my friend sent me an event invitation for this on Facebook last two weeks (Thank you, Rai, you are an angel), I was so excited until like want to become typical Singaporean yang kiasu to the bone and start queuing up in front of the exhibition hall already hahahaha.

But I never lah, which turn out to be ok, because not that crowded also. Boyfriend even more cheebye, he go and make comment that eh how come all these book sales, don't have a lot of Malays ah??? with a sial penuh makna grin on his face. Hahahaha APA MAKSUD KAU SEKARANG.

Aiyah. Their problem ah they don't like to buy books. Also their problem ah if they prefer to go Courts Mega Sale rather than Penguin Book Sale. Courts Mega Sale kan dorang boleh sign up for instalment payments, Penguin Book Sale mana boleh pay using instalment payments. How to mampu if not by instalment payments correct not!!!

Haha, kidding. Ok here is picture of my apa maksud boyfriend and me inside.

Actually got other pictures which actually I want to show off because the wet weather inside the country have make me got excuse to wear layering and scarfs and stuff so feeling feeling very fashionable and French that day but!!! Bila upload I can see that all the pictures, pukimak, I fucking look like I swallow a giant cheeseburger over the weekend and it got stuck at my face lor.

Even my skinniest picture (above) look like baby elephant, imho. That's it, fail, next year can join The Biggest Loser, Asia punya show already. Either that, or I join the zoo.

Actually not very surprising I put on a lot of weight because my boyfriend and I got go so many places to go makan and we even have a list which we always go to for good makan which both of us enjoy in all of our greedy glory! One of them was where we go yesterday... Thai Express! Fucking good Thai food at fucking good prices. I'm not lying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you think I lying, it's ok, it's alright, you just have to look at my (expanding, fat) hips because like what the singer Shakira say, the hips don't lie, bitches!!!

Prawn Tom Yum Soup. Must-have for me.

My Beef Noodles. Their servings are maha huge lor!

His Curry Laksa. Not a fan of curries but the flavour of this fucking bursts in your mouth.

Fucking bursts, I tell you. (Just like how my stomach will burst if I don't take care of it soon)

So not surprising, I become their member already!!! Actually want to volunteer and become their in-house food tester / valuer or something but cannot lah... Later I also become like the father elephant printed on their membership package coupons thing and membership card how?!:

Thai Express Orange Membership Card

Wah, seems like I can really forget it about the whole world if talking about food ah. And also forget about my expanding waistline when enjoying food!!! Fuck lah. What kind of life is this. Must diet, must exercise, just to fit into societal standards. Very jealous at people who eat like pig but still as slim as ever, and very angry at skinny girls who complain about their fat arms lah, fat tummy lah, fat feet lah!!! I tell myself already, the next time got fucking skinny girl complain and whine about her body being fat and all, I will send her a picture of my whole body and then ask whether she want to trade bodies with me since she talk so much. If you don't know what is the true meaning of fat, then don't talk so much, can or not. If anything that is big and fat, it's your fucking mouth.

Just so you know, fat is when you cannot fit into a pair of jeans that is for waistline sized 30. Fat is NOT when you have to buy a UK Size 8 instead of a UK Size 6. Please get that right, you fucking skeletons.

Hahahahahahahaha. Ok I apologise. Feeling a bit depressed now, and very fat and insecure, so become a bit bitchy. To make myself happy, come I tell you about the thing that can make me very happy!!!

Books!!!

Here are the books that I borong at the Penguin Book Sale that my boyfriend and I go to!!! The books all going for $3, $5, $8, $10 each kind! This is more puas hati di Penguin Book Sale than the puas hati di Golden Chance siol. You know or not that actually I got choose, like, ten million books to buy!!! Ok, fine, bluffing, but I had close to ten million books lor... around fifty books like that lor.

In the end, just so that I will not have to eat grass for the next one month of my life, kena filter and sort out which ones which I really want to buy and read :( Boyfriend got choose his four books and I choose my eleven books, and when tally up mine, my bofyriend point out that I'll have to pay $58 for all of mine... which is the same price for Zoukout tickets!!! Wah, freaky coincidence or what.

(In case you don't know, we decide not to go for Zoukout already because of sebab sebab tertentu, which is ok with me lor, because then no need to jostle with ten million other people and Lisa's idea of a private barbeque foursome sounds so much more better :D Tak sabar. Oh, and because no need to set aside some money for hardcore partying during Zoukout, now got extra money to buy books like this already! Swee swee same price lagi! Bahasa menunjukkan bangsa moment, plz)

So instead of spending $58 for free flow of alcohol (and sin) and a massive useless hangover the day after, instead of paying for 11 days worth of lunch that can make me gain some more weight, I have decided to use that amount of money for ...acquiring more information and knowledge. (HAHA. Politically correct pe.)

Best $58 I've ever parted with, if I may say so myself. Hor?!

I DON'T HATE YOU, LOVE, I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND

2009-12-02T23:58:00.011+08:00

TOP FIVE GROUPS OF PEOPLE WHOM I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND

1. People who wear religion on their heads but not in their hearts / People who wore religion on their heads and then takes it off (it's a tie)

2. People who are skinnier than me but complain about how fucking fat they are. If you're a fucking whale, then I must be your fucking mother.

3. People who declare on their blogs and online profiles that they're someone whom others love to hate and hate to love but they don't care what others think of them. Honey, if you care enough to put up such a major disclaimer about how others perceive you, you sure as hell care enough about what they think of you.

4. People who (anonymously) criticise the government from their goddamn comfortable chairs which is made possible by the same government who has secured stability and security for the country. I'll take stability and security over absolute free speech, thank you very much. (Unappreciative bastards.)

5. People who fail to detect sarcasm.

O GREAT PANORAMA!

2009-12-02T22:40:00.005+08:00

Some panorama shots from the day we got catch the panorama itch.

HAL EHWAL BEFORE DECEMBER COMES

2009-11-29T16:44:00.012+08:00

December coming!!!

Remember previous entry I got say I very excited and cannot wait for December to come?! Because salary will come into my bank account and will spend excessively for three days then the rest of the month will eat grass?! My prediction totally fail lor. The situation now is such that spend excessively for ONE DAY ONLY then the rest of the month will eat grass, one!!! And the best pukimak part is that December haven't even come lor. How like that!!!

Never mind lah, no money never mind lah, as long as got my Saliheen, who can eat grass together with me.

Both of us always eat grass, one, that's why both of us the bodies look like cows heh heh heh.

Now is actually bad time for me because feeling very conscious about my size and weight, which is why it was also very sial when boyfriend chio me go to his youngest brother punya dragonboat competition. Because this kind of dragonboat event, got a lot of abang abang body yang muscle muscle and badan kong kong one!!!

First thing when we reach the event venue, we saw the board that they erect to commemorate the five dragon-boaters who passed away while on their dragonboat last time. Can't believe it's been two years... feels like it just happened hor :(

The event was call the 27th Singapore River Regatta 2009.

Stand under blazing sun which was very hot to watch abang abang and kakak kakak body try to row their muscles off to the finishing line. Quite adrenaline-pumping leh, watch them use their bare strength and grit and they all rowing in damn fucking unison. Until it looks like someone is controlling them using battery and remote control siol!

Another thing, at first I thought it is inter-school, tertiary institution kind of competition, sekali find out it is actually a lot a lot of organisations and institutions, one. I was telling my boyfriend, imagine my company is the one which participate. That's it, se-dragon dragon mana pun itu boat, the minute I step in only, confirm sink into the river sak.

See, see. HDB pun masuk siol. MINISTRY OF HOME. AFFAIRS. PUN MASUK SIOL.

Also got OCBC, HSBC and Bank of America!

But DBS, UOB, RHB all never join, one. Dorang confirm malas nak layan, duduk office kira duit lagi steam.

Floorball association also take part! They all row using their floorball sticks is it.

Ok, ok, enough with the name board... which toppled halfway through the event because of the fucking strong wind, by the way! Bloody part was that it crashed down on boyfriend since we were standing right beside it hahahahahahahaha oklah, oklah, don't laugh lah, it was because he react fast and hold on to the toppling nameboard that I never kena crush and become female pancake ok (dengar dengar pancake ada gender).

Feeweet! My hero to the rescue! Can forget all the abang abang body parading their muscle, and badan besar kepala kecik at the event already. My bb and his tummy that look like carrying a healthy 12 month old baby inside is still my one and only hero he he he. Give me my abang perut over abang body anytime, honey!

Abang Perut.

Ok, now is time to come and spot my Abang Perut punya brother, Abang Body, inside the competition.

Can see or not...

If cannot, I give you see bigger and hopefully clearer picture.

Boyfriend's third brother, Boyfriend and Boyfriend's second brother.

Kidding! Only the one on the left is really his third brother ah. Boyfriend's second brother is not the one on the right lah, that is his third brother's friend only. His younger brothers are all so much taller than him lor, don't have shorter than him, one. Even my boyfriend himself declare that standing in between his two younger brothers machiam standing in between the KL Twin Towers! Hahahahaha! Pandai pulak si ketot ni buat lawak.

Aiyah, talking so much about other people's adik beradik, must find space to make story about my own flesh and blood! This was when it was public holiday because of Hari Raya Haji, and we kena screamed at and hustled out to visit relatives by our chief gangster inside the house wielding senduk periuk and pisau potong sayur a.k.a Ibu.

And no, I don't feel like standing (in heels) in between KL Twin Towers when standing with my sisters.

And yes, Ibu likes us to make us wear dress same same kind.

Must be some kind of fetish for mothers who have more than one daughter.

My favourite camel-coloured heels!

My favourite paternal cousin!

I couldn't resist the "must take picture with you since you come out newspaper already" comment. Lol.

Nenek cooked roti kirai and curry daging which was really sedap and tempting and will call out to you, one. Like what Pakcik Pitbull would say "I know you want me! You know I want cha! I know you want meee, you know I want cha!" Hur hur. Oh, and my second sister says my third sister's bread looks like heart shape.

Abeh asal. The bread heart shape then cannot eat is it. Must keep for decoration purposes is it. Must send to science lab for testing is it. Comment tak perlu lor, please! Chicken nut bread betul lah adik aku ni.

After the 'bread that look like heart shape' sighting, we become obsessed over taking panorama shots.

I want to put up some samples but don't know if third sister upload already or not. Jakun gila!!!

As usual, very boring at my paternal side because all so pretentious and whatever. Got only one of the fun parts was when I get to tease my younger cousin with her online name "emiiisupervaaayyynnnnn" hahahahaha favourite pe kacau online name dia. So in the end, we end up just watching Transformers VCD (dubbed over in the Spanish language, no less.. since when the people in Nenek's house understand Spanish also I don't know. Haiyah, what is this, Hari Raya Haji go and open show in Spanish language pulak... open lah in Arab language or what. Baru aku (macam) paham sikit.) and overdose on panorama shots, then when shameless gossipy relatives arrive, I was anxious to leave already lor. (Yes, you from the family of shameless gossipy relatives, you're probably reading this piece of shit and yes, I'm fucking talking about you) So when Ibu say it is time to leave, happy happy go and went to Jiji's new place - which is walking distance to Tampines Interchange, ish, so lucky I'm jealous - to meet the maternal relatives who are damn happening instead! :D

Hurhur. Bias menyerlah pe.

Anyway, it's been a long time since I tell story about my favourite little one right!!!

Who else but Superbaby Shah Indra... who have now become the Cheeky Chap.

CHEEKY CHAP! Even comes with the exclamation mark siol.

One of the things on Cheeky Chap's agenda of the night was to rempuh fridge magnets.

So big and naughty and cannot keep his hands to himself now! Macam Abang Saliheen.

Another one of the items on his agenda is to smile cheekily at the digicam!!! Look at the naughty one go.

Cheeky Chap! indeed.

My sisters and I decide to be cheeky also and try to take picture of us goofing around with the new security system installed for the blocks in Tampines hahahahaha but this shot is damn fail because we asked Ibu to take picture for the three of us and when we susah payah travel up and down the lift already while making cheebye faces at the security camera, Ibu announce that she don't know how to zoom in... (-___-) hampeh.

The best shot our failed photographer can give us. Kimak, ni case zoom function selit dalam tudung siol.

The day after Hari Raya Haji, wake up damn early to meet Lisa for our gym and shopping session!

If you think I am going to diss the experience of going to the gym, I am not going to lor. I myself cannot believe that I actually enjoy going to the gym leh!!! If you know me well, you will know that I am the sort that is very lazy to even take five fucking steps of stairs or cross over to another room unless it is life and death situation. Really leh! It's, like, the lazy motherfucker genetics inside me is damn excessive lor. So for me to go work out at a gym is, like, anjat girl girl moment of the month pe!!! Even more anjat girl girl is how I actually enjoy it and really want to go again!!! That's it, end of the month, I can become kakak kakak body and participate in dragonboat competition already.

After gym we washed up and had brunch.

Lisa striking her eh-dah-kurus-ah pose. The posing damn Ms Universe kind right!

I cannot, because I not in my eh-dah-kurus-ah state yet kwang kwang kwang.

AND YES, we went to Pastamania but we were very careful and healthy and we had salad and...

Kidding.

I had my favourite promotion item Cheezy Turkey Crumble and Lisa had the chicken ham version.

I know some self-righteous bastards will say what the fuck lor, sibeh beats the purpose lah what lah WHAT BEATS THE PURPOSE. I beats you up then you know. You so mulut cheebye for what! I got use your legs to go on the treadmill or not?! Never, right! I got use your sweat to waste away or not?! Never, right!

Hahahahahahahaha dah buat salah, abeh defensive eh.

Healthy snacking will only start next week (or the next) lah, because this is a trial first to see whether I can even warm up to the whole healthy go to gym kind of idea (if cannot I planning already to fuck it and grow fucking obese and die a big fat miserable death heh heh heh) Since it has been proven that I can, then ok lor, next time will jaga makan lor. Next time means... maybe next year ah. Haha!

Actually, IMHO kan, big fat miserable death doesn't sound that bad if it includes cheese and bacon and pasta :P

Miss posing eh-dah-kurus-ah and the person who will beats you up if you talk so much.

After walk around everywhere in Tampines with our gym bags and shopping bags and probably burn off what we eat for brunch already (hah), I meet my boyfriend for more shopping and late dinner at Thai Express! HAHA. Good old makan lagi! Eh but what is it about people pointing finger and saying ooohhh after gym go and makan ooohhh beats the purpose ooohhh wahlau eh, go to the gym means cannot go enjoy my food meh??? At least if I never slim down, I will still maintain the same and not balloon up right! Because eat, burn it down, eat, burn it down, considered ok lah tu.

Fucklah, why am I still being so defensive sak. Aku peh perut (berlipat) aku peh suka ah.

Boyfriend :)

Boyfriend trying to pry the digicam away from me :D

Boyfriend trying to pick at and play with his food while we were waiting for mine to come :/

And to think that he can complain so much that I treat him like small boy! How to not treat him like small boy if he so naughty poke poke at his food like that! Do you know that everytime, for example, we walk pass some display things or stand at place where got some stationary items in front of us, I have to watch him like a hawk to warn him to keep his hands to himself because he will be very tangan gatal and try to godeh godeh anything and everything that is within his reach!!! Wahpiang, how old already, you tell me?! (While waiting in the queue at Thai Express at Tampines One, fucker started fiddling with the modem behind the computer system at the restaurant punya waiting counter and I kena warning him first to "keep your hands down". This boy ah!!! You five years old is it?!)

Anyway, I don't think I have ever raved about Thai Express in my blog before but now I will.

THEIR FOOD ARE FUCKING AWESOME LOR!!!

Awesome tom yam soup, awesome green curry chicken and awesome beef pad thai.

All at affordable prices somemore. Even the staff member very clever, recommended us the watermelon-lime juice concoction that is damn delicious to the core. Very shiok dining experience there! The best part is that the manager and staff member (at least the one who served us) had damn swee customer service, and their warmth and friendliness and sincerity was all very A*. To the point that I decide to sign up with them for membership discount card! So looks like I will be going there often... after gym sessions, maybe??? Kwang kwang kwang.

Went home after the long day and rummaged through my shopping purchases...

...and one of them is the Cotton On lime green flipflops that I plan to wear for Zoukout! ;)

Five dollars only! Want to buy so expensive just to get 'em dirtied by sand and traces of alcohol for what.

Very excited over this pair because I have very boring footwear lah, in the sense that my footwear are all either black or at best, shades of brown, so for me to have something in lime green to wear on my feet is also considered miracle leh. Next up maybe hot pink hor?!

But ah, even then, my most favourite purchase of the day is in black... but this one I don't care because it is sibeh gorgeous to me!!!!!!!!!!! Walking in them for long will be a killer but nehmind lah, my feet died a long time ago already, you don't know ah next month kan memang dah kaki aku punya second death anniversary.

Two similar shots of the same thing because they're too bleeding gorgeous to me.

And while my footwear may be damn fierce, my ears are a different thing.

Cute not?!?!?!?!?!?!?! :D

Rainbow-inspired studs for the right ear and traffic light / rasta-inspired studs for the left!

My second sister Farahin say if I plan to blog about these, must credit her in my blog because she was the one who suggest I wear in such a way. Yerlah, ambik lah credits kau ni, pergi fly kite jauh jauh plz.

But really, cute hor!!!!! Actually never even plan, I just bought this pack of colourful studs from Diva and wear them randomly, it was only when I happily showing off to Farahin that she give me suggestion to make it so-called colour-inspired. I feel very happy because my ears now are very cute leh!!! :D Hahahahahaha cheap thrill sak.

Aiyah, I can be such a girl when it comes to these kind of things hor. I kind of wish I still have my nose piercing actually, but my nose piercing also died a long time ago when my nose stud committed suicide when I was over at my boyfriend's place, and by the time it was found near his bed much later, my nose piercing buat grand closing ceremony already. Machiam got feeling want to do nose piercing again but fuck lah, what am I? Fourteen?! Last time still fourteen years old, can ah, experimental, rebellious ah, now so old already, very lazy want to do all these to experiment and be rebellious leh (Ibu also don't care already, she calls my ears "telinga besi" hahahaha gotta tell her now it's telinga plastic already since the current studs are made of plastic). Been there, done that, next chapter please.

AND... Next chapter in life is of course experiment with cooking!!! Hahahahahaha. Niat hati was to attempt to cook Ayam Lemak Cili Padi for boyfriend (who is coming over) and family today but kena bastard by my own Ibu!!!!!!!! Last week tell her already that I will be cooking today, but wake up and see that she has cook up a feast of mee bandung and mee soto sial. How can I cook today if she cook so much makan already sak?! Later wasted!

Eh sekarly the reason she cook up a feast is because she knows that I want to attempt to cook today.

Hampeh.

Oh well, looks like my plan to cook and maybe burn down the house in the process before I got the chance to poison everyone with my terrible chop plus guarantee fail cooking sudah kena postpone to next week. Maybe should call boyfriend now and tell him to change plans already. Yang penting, must utilise the remaining of my weekend! Must! Now where should I go later.....

Oh fuck, boyfriend just called and tell me that his mum cook for him Ayam Lemak Cili Padi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fucking freaky coincidence or what!!!!!!!! It's like, I cannot cook because Ibu cook so much food at home already and I really don't want to waste ingredients, and it is also heng I never cook because my boyfriend's mother also cook the same thing that I want to cook for him!!! Dah memang takdir I cannot be allowed cook today! It's God's will!

Siak ah, even the big guy up there don't let me cook seh.

I know lah my cooking terrible, but bahasa pun agak agak ah. Bahasa menunjukkan bangsa sak ni.

SHE WHO HAS NO LEGS

2009-11-23T18:50:00.001+08:00

Lisa: Did I tell you about my client?
Me: No. What?
Lisa: I asked my client whether she can fax a copy of her I/C to me. She said "No, I can't, I don't have a fax machine at home." So I asked if she can email me a copy of her I/C. She said "I can't, I have no computer at home."
Me: Serious ah! Wahlau. Then what, if you ask her "Can you come down to my office to pass me a copy of your I/C?", is she going to say "Oh, no, I have no legs???"
Lisa: ... oh. ...actually, she's crippled.

OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

TOO UGLY TO BE FAKE

2009-11-23T09:13:00.002+08:00

Me: She seems nice to me leh.
Boyfriend: Please lah. She's just like ******. Fake.
Me: Oh... really ah?
Boyfriend: Ya. Except she's too damn ugly to be fake.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. MY BOYFRIEND IS SUCH A FREAKIN' MEAN GIRL AT HEART.

I THINK I'M FAT, LIKE, DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER WITH NO PICKLE FAT

2009-11-21T15:39:00.040+08:00

Since can waste one hour while waiting for time to get ready and meet boyfriend, I write one entry ok?!

Really, really want to tell you all how much I cannot wait for December leh!!! Because money for my salary will come in, and with great money comes great excessive spending for the first three days and eat grass for the rest of the month!!! Hahahahaha. Eh, cannot ah, cannot ah. Tell myself already that next month cannot reach until the edge of being broke. Somemore kena intensify the savings for the future already, where can throw money around like that?!

Wah, sound so damn responsible and cheem... Fuh, kakak kakak pe.

Have I tell you or not that I been putting on weight nowadays?! Suddenly realise that I really look damn round like burger like that!!! My sister also comment that I put on weight again already, which is jialat, because her mouth very honest with me one. How like that!!! Jialat!!! I will die of heart disease because too fat, how!!!

But complain so much, last week still so happy when Lisa chio go eat McDonalds after work.

And I think I spend too much time with her already, she even help me buy the thing that I love to always eat even without asking me what I wanted! Which is this:

Double Cheese Burger with no Pickle plz hee hee hee

But then she skidding a bit far and our meal pretty much look like this:

Everything also she whack special order.

Kimak, kalau special order yang buat kasi tak gemuk, takpe jugak.

What make it even worse is that the other day my office manager bring sugar icing cupcakes to office and nobody seem to like them but me and I the only one who maha lantak the cupcakes leh. Perangai gelojoh please throw inside dustbin eh!!! And we also got celebrate the Boss and office manager's birthdays together in office the other time and as usual we had fucking delicious cake ah:

BUT GOT FRUITS, WHAT. THAT MEANS HEALTHY RIGHT?! NOT MAKE FAT RIGHT?!

Colleagues got niat hati go gym together and our Boss even hook us up with a trainer from one of the local gyms here to give us free trials and subsidised gym memberships all but I not so keen because really want to own time own target lor. I know lah, where got discipline to own time own target, one, but I will even more stress if got all these trainers and buff bodies around me leh. Then end up eat even more then how. DIE OF HEART DISEASE.

Actually got thinking want to start again jogging from yesterday but been having this very cheebye cough and flu on and off for the past week and I don't want to exert myself and then fucking die while exercising or what. SO NOT BEFITTING LOR PLEASE. If I die from too much smoking, people will come to expect. Die from motorbike accident, people will come to expect. Maybe die from eating too much too fast, also people can come to expect. But me, die from exercising??? People hear, people will tell you, don't bluff ah, LU BUAT LAWAK TEATER KOMEDI KE APE.

Maybe will go jogging next week after work to burn off all the babats which don't know come from where (Dari double cheese burger with no pickle kau lah bodoh!!!) I mean, better I go jogging than I go jump down pe.

GOT GET SUAY ON FRIDAY THE 13TH OR NOT

2009-11-21T00:28:00.018+08:00

That time Friday the 13th you all got kena suay or not?!

Very scary hor got this kind of Friday the 13th, people say unlucky day lah, Freddy Kruger come out and kill people lah, what lah, but cannot really believe all these things lah hor, which is why my bosses and colleagues all go out party and celebrate at St James Powerhouse and don't care about kena suay! The only suay thing for me is that I never really realise that my dress look a bit like Freddy Krueger come out on Friday the 13th and slash off the front part of my dress until come out a bit the too vulgar for my liking in pictures. So embarassing.

But pictures are pictures, so I show you some pictures which is not so vulgar ok?!

This one not vulgar, this one very kurang ajar, because in the chaos that happening, I tuck the two $1 coins that is kena use for locker inside my bag, which is also known as the tong sampah bergerak a.k.a. mobile rubbish bin. Really leh! If want to find for thing inside my bag must dig use excavator, only then can find things, one. So either you go find excavator to dig and find things inside my bag, or you go and ask Lisa. She confirm can find one!!! Which explains the picture above, because after I digging digging for the two $1 coins cannot find, then she dig one time, can find already. Amazing dok. Tapi kurang ajar ah.

Mabs & Iqah

Everytime got picture of drinks, the first thing that come to my mind is the advertisement with the slogan "KITA MINUM DULU!"... which is damn wrong lor, because the advertisement that I talking about is actually an advertisement selling milk powder. Kimak. Jauh panggang dari api siol (peribahasa sembarang campak)

Drinking game face-off with Boss

Awesome colleagues :D

With BFF again (ya I know, keep seeing our faces only, macam want to throw tomato right)

Me & Iqah

OK FINE, HALF OF IQAH'S FACE

ok I give you correct picture that can see her face and her drama bulu mata all

Lucky cannot see bulu hidung. OR BULU KETIAK, EVEN WORSE.

Maaaaabbbsss

hair misbehaved halfway through the night lor

(and apparently my hair wasn't the only one misbehaving heh heh heh...)

I KID YOU NOT!!! (Hahahahahaha private joke, private joke)

Found themselves little boys to play with. HAHA. perangai nak cougar je.

Mabs and I can stick to each other, thank you very good

Typical clubbing picture sak. TYYY-PIII-CALLLLL

Lareina, our ex-intern (in blue), came down with her girlfriend! (I give up on the hair already)

In the end everything also give up and I take a nap heh heh heh

(Damn funny story from Mabs, who was sitting beside me while I taking a nap inside the club. Apparently she minding her own business beside me, and I was napping, when suddenly that "I know you want me (want me) You know I want cha (want cha)" song start playing and I damn suddenly started "bobbing" to the beat, instantly declare I want to dance and raced down to the dancefloor, leaving her still sitting behind, stunned!!! Hahahahaha. Aiyah, sleeping also, when Pitbull song start playing must show respect and rise to the rhythm mah.)

WE HAD DAMN SHIOK BLAST!!!

Got more pictures lah of course but they are either haram or got faces of the bosses inside, which I already make a rule for myself that those kind cannot put inside blog. The only shocker (ok, fine, one of the shockers) of the night was when I waiting for boyfriend to pick me up from near the road there and got this joker come and tell me his friend want to get to know me and ask for my number. I thinking, aiyah must be some sick joke or even, truth or dare kind of thing right but sekarly really sak. That one never mind ah, no sweat right, I got experience pick up people also anyway what, but the make jaw drop part is that IT. IS. A. CHINESE. GUY. LEH.

Nothing wrong with that, of course, but I don't know lah kan, I thought I am, like, total opposite of the typical type of girl which most Chinese guys will like, what. They like the skinny until can see bone, hair straight straight long long, and the in front can use to iron clothes one right?! I sibeh opposite leh, how like that?! Oklah, I know lah, damn cheebye sweeping statement lah, but if you look at him also you will agree lor. Very nice and geeky, lanky and fair and tall. Unfortunately for him, he is also opposite of what I (physically) like. I like the fat fat, dark colour and the face can become fierce machiam got ciri ciri bad boy a bit! So... sorry eh brother. Gua tackle yang dah sunat je ah. Kalau isap pun, isap yang sunat punya je.

And I still cannot understand this pelik thing about strangers express their shock that I am Malay, because they think I am Chinese girl. Reason I saying this is because on that night itself, got yet another guy tell me he think I am Chinese and he was damn shock when I tell him my name and it is a Malay name. Wahlau, why ah. I really think I look damn typical Malay leh...

Aiyah, debate so much about this also no use, I still get people speaking to me in Mandarin on the streets then I will damn blur cock down there, don't know how come until like that. But actually I no need to complain so much... especially when Lisa get it more worse lor!!! Hur hur. But at least she really look like Chinese girl leh.

Maybe next time go out I must tampal my I/C at my forehead hor. Tampal pakai scotchtape.